The Diary of Yitzhak Lamdan
(A Translation of the Diary Entries)

The translation of Lamdan's diary entries follows below or you can return to the overview, the concise summaries or the interpretive summaries of the diary entries.

Notebook A

June 1914
June 26, 1914 | June 29, 1914

July 1914
July 2, 1914 | July 6, 1914 | July 8, 1914 | July 9, 1914 | July 12, 1914 | July 16, 1914 | July 19, 1914 | July 21, 1914 | July 22, 1914 | July 23, 1914 | July 27, 1914 | July 29, 1914

August 1914
August 2, 1914 | August 5, 1914 | August 8, 1914 | August 16, 1914 | August 17, 1914 | August 18, 1914 | August 19, 1914 | August 23, 1914 | August 26, 1914 | August 31, 1914

September 1914
September 2, 1914 | September 4, 1914 | September 6, 1914

Notebook A

June 1914

[June 26, 1914] Friday, 2nd of Tammuz, in the afternoon, 5674 Mlynov^[1]

On Tuesday, I drew up a letter to A. [Avraham] Weitz^[2] and sent it to him, in it I requested he write me what he heard regarding the immigration certificate.^[3] I asked his pardon, if I was troubling him with my letter, I explained to him as in my previous letters, how terribly tragic for me if I couldn’t travel to the Land of Israel (Eretz Yisrael). In this letter, I also mentioned another item that I did not mention in previous letters and this was: that he should not anticipate that I would become a burden to him in Eretz Yisrael, and that I would try diligently with all my might to prevent this. I also expressed the hope, that he would surely respond to this letter of mine and not leave it unanswered as in previous ones.[”] No doubt he received and read this letter, and then he sent a courier here to buy household goods and food and also [sent] a letter from [his son] David, and in this letter there was not even a tiny allusion to my letter; obviously my remorse grew greater because of this.

I have no desire, nor am I able to write another letter. For what purpose? Only in the margins of one page of the newspaper HaZeman [The Time]^[4] I wrote [2] these words: A.N.! [Honored Sir, Adoni Nichbad] why didn’t I receive a response to my letters that I await with “pining eyes and a languishing body” [Lev. 26:16] Y. L. [Yitzhak Lamdan]? I wrote these things intending that they would see them when they held the edition in their hands. But lo and behold a representative came today with nothing for me. And it is impossible to understand any reason why.^[5] Are these men not known for being honorable and righteous. Would they be ungrateful and not bother to write me a letter? Or perhaps [6] they evade answering because they have no intention to add me to the certificate. Is it possible? Questions such as these and other similar ones come to mind, but their answer, who knows? It is difficult for me to determine the meaning of this. Even though I don’t know the meaning of this, still I’m angry with them that they don’t do right by answering my letters and by and by I am left hanging. And I do not know which world I am in. Thus the time is already so short!! Intense sorrow fills my heart. Who knows? [3] Who knows if some great catastrophe has befallen him? Oh no, Lord of the world, is it indeed, possible? ! … Is it really possible that my sacred idea, which I nurtured and developed, at this time, in my best feelings, and in the best blood flowing in my youthful veins; this sacred idea, for which I made great valuable sacrifices on its altar, this idea, will it really not soon come to fruition?... Truly? … A heavy sorrow I feel now with these thoughts. Hard. So difficult. “A crisis period”^[6] and tell me why a crisis is able to overcome a man? This week I read a notice in [the newspaper] “HaZeman” that a public school in Ehalavaya^[7] in the district of of Yekaterinoslav [now Dnipro Ukraine] are seeking 3 teachers, the first for Hebrew and general studies, a second for Hebrew studies in the upper division (i.e., classes) and the third (the last – certification is not needed) for Hebrew studies in the preparatory division. The salary of the first is from 600-700 rubles a year and the third from 500-600. And therefore during the week I sent a postcard there to see if it is possible for me to be a teacher of come to the school as a teacher for Hebrew studies in the preparatory program and [requested that] they clarify the details of the requirements. Look what a “crisis period” is able to generate!!

My entire spirit and thoughts are fastened on the Land of Israel, and the Land of Israel has already sunk ancient, strong roots in my heart and mind so that I can’t think about living here in exile (galut), but here comes “the crisis period” and confronts me with something like this. I do my present writing in the alleyway behind our house next to the small table that I set up, between the shrubs, and under the shade of the willow. Today is a hot summer day and around me spills nature’s glory, gardens, trees, opposite the beautiful skies, flies and bees hum, and their buzzing attracts and enchants the heart, everything is beautiful and delightful and I look all around, strong longings for the Land of Israel attack me. I long for the blue skies of the Land of Israel, her mountains, her gardens [5], her cultivated fields and everything in her, my soul does not find satisfaction in the beautiful nature of Exile (galut) and my longings carry me far, far [away] to the place there where our cherished land is sprawling.

My longings are so strong, as are the sorrow and doubt that fill my heart….Oh my heart aches. Doubt eats at me …. Restrained anger fills my limbs: Why? Why don’t they (the Weitz family) answer my letters? Why are they ungrateful? How many times have they frequently bothered us and me with different kinds of errands and endless requests, but they don’t want to answer my letters? Is it indeed possible I am suspicious for nothing, suspect in I’m suspicious, but at this moment, a moment when bitter doubts gnaw my heart, it is almost impossible for me not to be angry and annoyed with them.

I am concluding my entry with great inner sadness, strong longings, and bitter doubt that tortures my soul….

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Notes

[1] The critical edition gives some background on Mlynov: “Mlinov” here in the Russian pronunciation. Mlyniv in the Ukrainian pronunciation. A small town in the Rivne Oblast, in western Ukraine, 30 km southeast of Lutsk. Mlynov is the birthplace of Yitzhak Lamdan. See Moshe Tamari, “In the Presence of Yitzhak Lamdan,” Gilyonot 31 (12) 5713 [1954], 290-293. [translator's note: see the translated version, of this essay in the Mlynov-Mervits Memorial Book, English, pp. 222-223] ↩

[2] The critical edition explans that: Avraham Weitz was a maskil (figure of the jewish enlightenment) of the organization Hovevei Zion, supervisor of his family’s forest holdings. He was father of Yosef Weiss (1890-1972) who among the well known pioneers of the second aliaya (he made aliya in 1908) and was among the head Keren Hakayemet and was known by the nickname, “father of the forests.” See David Tadhr, Encyclopedia to the Yishuv Pioneers and Builders [Heb.], 2nd vol. This Avraham Weitz lived in Bokiima, located 10 km southwest of Mlynov. Later in the diary he refers to a son David Weitz, and daughter Hinda who also planned to make aliyah to the Land of Israel. Others are mentioned further on: Haichel [Chaim] Weitz and Sarah Weitz, who are apparently also his children, and the mother of Hinda, who is his [Abraham’s] wife, named Raitzah [Rachel] nee Kalivner, according to Tadhr (ibid p. 858) ↩

[3] The critical edition explains: Immigration and residence permit in the Land of Israel, apparently mediated through the institutions of the Yishuv (Settlement) in the Land of Israel.Translator's note: In 1914, the Land of Israel was still under Ottoman control and permission to travel to and settle in the Land of Israel needed the Ottoman approval. ↩

[4] HaZeman was a Hebrew newspaper that was published in Russian and Lithuania in the years 1903-1915, first bi-weekly and afterwards daily. During the time that Lamdan wrote these lines, it was published daily in Vilna in Lithuania, edited by H. M. Margulies. Military censorship limitations brought it to an end during WWI, in Jan. 1915. ↩

[5] The critical edition makes clear that: The diacritics on the [Hebrew] soft letters (b, c, peh (בֿ;כֿ;פֿ)) are indicated in the handwriting as is usual in Yiddish, even though not in the following. ↩

[6] [In Hebrew] penultimate pronunciation. [Crisis period is] A concept known in the yeshiva world meaning a period of depression and doubts that leads to paralysis in action and study. ↩

[7] In this ad, it is written Ehalahvaya (or Aolovaya), in the region of Yekaterinoslav [today called Dnipro] according to Soloveitchik 34259. Ehlahvaya is the name of the street or the umbrella organization that the school belonged to. HaZeman (June 23, 1914), page 4. ↩

[June 29, 1914] Monday, the 5th of Tammuz, Early Afternoon, Mlynov (5674)

Yesterday, in the morning, Mr. David Weitz [son of Abraham] came to Mlynov and stopped by our house. Obviously, his visit was very welcome. Now – I thought at that moment – I will at last learn what is known about my status and the trip in general. This is what he said: for the moment they are not trying to get [immigration] certificates, due to doubt whether they will travel to the Land of Israel. The journey depends now on Avraham Lender[8] and if he goes – they will for sure go, but if he doesn’t go, they also won’t go, and the matter obviously has to be decided in the coming days. With regard to me he said : [“]they fully intend in the near future to add me to their certificate as soon as it is feasible,[”] hoping to calm me down. To calm me down entirely, obviously is not possible in the meantime, but be that as it may, David’s words soothed my spirit a bit which previously was very depressed! [7] But Mr. David’s words calmed my spirit just a little bit. And still now bitter doubt nestles in my heart, I think that perhaps Mr. Abraham Wietz will not go – then…. because, Father^[9] will agree to my going only if I accompany Mr. Weitz, but if he doesn’t go - who knows if Father will allow me to go? I am worried and scared about this, and thus [his update] has not removed or blunted the sharp sting of doubt that filled and continues to fill my heart even now.

Now, I must pray for others [i.e., Lender] as well as myself … I must pray that Weitz will in the end decide to travel, this is now my situation. We are still without clarity, and [everything] is cloudy. And the "crisis period" continues.

Last week I drafted and sent a letter to the administration of the [bi-monthly periodical] “Shacharit”^[10] in which I complained that I didn’t get the 3rd issue of the periodical perhaps because of some error. I requested that they send me one immediately. Meanwhile, no reply and [8] no “Sharharit.” What is the reason?

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Notes

[8] Avraham Lender according to the diary entry (15 Tammuz, 5674) was a relative of the Weitz family. ↩

[9] Yehuda Leib (Lubes or Lobes) (1864-1940), father of Yitzhak Lamdan, of blessed memory. See his description in the writing of his nephew Yosef Litvak “R. Yehuda Leib Lamdan,” In Yitzhak Siegleman (editor) Mlynov-Mervits Yizkor Book, Haifa, [published by] organization of Mlynov-Mervits, of by pp 242-243 [in original]. ↩

[10] Shacharirt was a Zionist periodical for youth that was published in Odessa and later Warsaw, under the auspices of Shmuel Eisenberg Eisenstadt (1886-1971). According to its title, it was intended to be a bi-monthly, “A newspaper dedicated to concerns of nationalist youth [i.e. Zionists] circulated in the Diaspora appearing two times a month. In practice only five editions appeared in the years 5673-5674 (1913). ↩

July 1914

[July 2, 1914], Thursday, 8th of Tammuz, near evening, 5674, Mlynov

For two days I wrote nothing, because I had nothing to write, and even now I have nothing to write, but it seems to me that it’s been a long time since I wrote in my “daily” [i.e., diary]^[10a] and I want to write now.

Yes. I have nothing to write. Nothing new, more or less, happened this week. Everything was as before. Nothing changed in my situation, even a tiny bit. That could be because Weitz already made his decision about the trip, but I know nothing. It is impossible for me to forecast anything about my near future, it is impossible, or perhaps it is possible[,] but I don’t have the stomach to predict… No! I don’t want to! My heart! Be still! Don’t think anything!…

It is twilight now and something heavy weighs on my heart[.] [9] What sorrow, I do not know the emptiness** that dwells inside me, everything is as I wrote in my last poem, “Sinking Feelings.”^[11]

Nothing new is happening to me meanwhile. There are in fact a number of things to narrate in prose but who knows if I will bring them from my thoughts to the paper:

I am very hopeful about receiving the third issue of “Shacharit,” and the issue of “Perahim,”^[12] which published my poem “Spring Rain.” Two weeks and more have passed since I sent a postcard to the administration of “Shacharit” with the complaint about not receiving the booklet - but I received neither a response nor the booklet.

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Notes

[10a] [Translator’s comment:] In Hebrew, the word “diary” (yoman) is closely related to the word “daily” as in daily newspaper (yomon). Yitzhak is using the word “daily” (yomon) instead of “diary” and puts the word in quotes because he does not in fact write daily. [HS] ↩

[11] The poem “Sinking Feelings” did not survive like most of his youthful poems from that time. ↩

[12]“HaPerahim” [The Flowers] was a Hebrew weekly for children that was published in the town of Lugansk in eastern Ukraine in the years 5668-5674 (1907-1914) under the editorial supervision of the writer and educator Yisrael Benjamin Lvner (1916-1862) who held a senior position in the town as Crown rabbi. See Yehuda Slotsky, Jewish Russian Newspapers in the 1920s (1900-1918) Tel Aviv: Tel Aviv University (5738), 451-452. The poem “Spring Rain” does not appear in HaPerahim during those years. In booklet 11 of the 7th year (5674) (1914), a poem with the name “Spring” appears without the name of the author on the title page. ↩

[July 6, 1914] Monday, 12th of Tammuz, early afternoon, 5674, Mlynov

On the Sabbath day, I received a reply from the principal of the agricultural school in Petah-Tikvah^[13] to the postcard that I sent him (which I wrote about in a previous journal entry^[13a] and he wrote to me:^[13b] [10] [blank page] [11] [blank page] [12]

“in responding to his letter we acknowledge that our most industrious students are in fact able to earn a sum (up to 25 fr [francs] a month) for their hard work but it is impossible to rely on this and especially when they are not specialists in work. On his question about whether his knowledge is sufficient, we noted that he didn’t indicate anything about his knowledge? When we know, we will answer. Sincerely, Dr. Pikhulitz."^[14]

That was the answer! From that answer, it is easy to understand that it is hard in fact to rely on what I hoped, to make a living working for others. Nonetheless, the response did not cool my ardor.

Regarding the second question regarding [requisite] knowledge, the writer [Dr. Pikhulitz] didn’t understand what I meant. I asked if – there is any stumbling block entering the school in relationship to general knowledge, and his answer didn’t respond to my question at all.^[14a] [13] To write another time – I think is redundant [because Yitzhak hopes to make aliyah soon], but if God of Zion will help me, and I am fortunate to make aliyah to the Land of Israel, I will make aliyah soon, in another month (Alas, how hard it is to write about this. Oh.* Even without this I think a letter is redundant — so I won’t write.

*[Lamdan’s footnote] I am stopping and I haven’t finished this discussion, because it is hard for me to write about this…

My situation is still murky! Nothing is clear to me. I still don’t know Weitz’s decision regarding my travel, and perhaps there is still nothing to know, because they didn’t decide anything at all. Or perhaps not?... Thus my thinking goes this way and that…. I want to go to Bokiima^[15] to [visit the family of] Weitz and speak to them about this so I can clarify the matter, and in fact today I could have gone because they sent us a wagon with wood [and I could have gone on the wagon when it returned to them], but I changed my mind, because I said to myself perhaps this is not right time for a trip and I [14] will be bothering them? Therefore I will wait and meanwhile perhaps David [Weitz] will come this week and if not I will send them a message requesting a good time for me to visit them and when there will be a wagon [coming] here from there. This is the situation now!

Yesterday, I sent a postcard to the editorial staff of [the magazine] Shacharit with the complaint that I still didn’t get the third issue, even though I previously turned to them in a postcard requesting they send it to me – and look today I received this issue. Too bad I wasted that postcard, since I have many places that I need to write and this postcard could have been sent elsewhere. (Such is life).

Meanwhile nothing else happened worthy of note[.] I have enough material for poems and also for prose, — I can hope that some new material will be added in the coming days.

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Notes

[13] Dr. Eliezer Pikhulitz (1880-1960) born in Austria, granted a degree as a doctor in agriculture Vienna. He went to Israel in 1910 and during the years 1910-1912 worked in Ben Shemen. He led the agricultural school in Petach Tivkah in the years 1912-1914, and afterwards went to Tel Aviv. See Baurch Rozen and Avraham Reshef, “Nutrition in Eretz Yisrael: Research and Activities Before and During WWI." Katedra 69 (Tishrei 5,754 [193-94]) p. 177, note 18. ↩

[13a] [Translator’s comment]: Mention of this postcard does not appear in the journal entries that are known. It seems possible there were entries before June 26 that have not been preserved. [HS] ↩

[13b] [Translator’s comment]: Yitzhak indicates that Dr. Pikhulitz responded to him. But when Yitzhak quotes the response, the writer refers to Yitzhak in the third person as if he is responding, not to Yitzhak directly, but to someone else. It may be that a third party sent a letter or recommendation on his behalf to Dr. Pikhulitz with questions and that person received the response and shared it with Yitzhak. It appears Yitzhak wanted to attend the agricultural school or perhaps to teach there. See Yitzhak's entry on July 23rd when he recommends to his friend, Shmuel Borshtak, that if he wants to make aliyah he should enter an agricultural school. [HS] ↩

[14] See above note 12. ↩

[14a] [Translator’s note]: It appears that Yitzhak wanted to know whether there were any general requirements to enter the school but when Pikhulitz responded he answered he think Yitzhak wants to know if he has sufficient knowledge to be gainfully employed. [HS] ↩

[15] On the village Bokiima, see above note 2. ↩

[July 8, 1914] Wednesday, 14th of Tammuz, 5674, Mlynov

At the moment, I have almost nothing to write. Nothing has happened during the two days in which I didn’t write in my “daily" [i.e., diary]^[15a] Nothing changed in my situation even the slightest bit. I am convinced that it is not good for me to wait until I extract^[15b] clarity from David if he comes here (and besides who knows if he will come at all in the near future). It is also possible that if they [the Weitzes] send a courier here, I’ll compose a letter [to send back] requesting that they notify me [and clarify] if it is okay if I visit them to discuss the situation – then I will know [if a visit is okay] and perhaps I will pry from their lips some clarity in the matter. But then a new question arises for me: whether the letter I am thinking of sending them will suffer the fate of all the letters I sent until now [and they will not respond] – why all this writing? It’s a standoff…^[16]

[16] Therefore, I don’t know yet what I will decide. Favorable winds and comforting news – are not blowing my way now, as far as I can anticipate, the future decision of Weitz, regarding the trip, will be negative, and then—my prospect won’t be bright at all… and it will be extremely hard to overcome an obstacle like this– – –

The “crisis period” is difficult as are the self-doubts that I have now during this period..

Today I composed a new poem (whether it will have a name or not I don’t know meanwhile, meanwhile it was written in one sitting and it still needs many corrections. I won’t copy it to my notebook of poems …. [end]

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Notes

[15a] [Translator's comment]: Yithzak places quotations marks around the word “diary” because in Hebrew the word (yoman) can also mean “daily.” The quotation marks acknowledge that he is not writing daily in his diary. [HS] ↩

[15b] [Translator's comment]: He uses a Hebrew word that means “save” or “rescue.” [HS] ↩

[16] Teku is Aramaic meaning “standoff” an expression widely use in the Talmud which meaning the problem continues to exist and there is no resolution. ↩

[July 9, 1914] Thursday, 15th of Tammuz, in the afternoon, 5674, Mlynov

Today Mr. [Abraham] Weitz received a postcard from the Land of Israel from his son Yosef.

[17] Among other things he wrote “I hope that your trip here will not be cancelled, God forbid, like last year’s. What will happen? We again see good signs in the prospect of buying land by Rehovot and hopefully by the end of the summer the acquisition will be completed.^[17] For my part I will do everything possible so that a portion of land remains in the possession of [our relative] Mr. Lender. I already registered this with a member of the settlement council, etc., [Yosef continued:]

… do what you feel about your journey. If you so desire come a bit early to enjoy it more.”

That is what their son wrote to them from the Land of Israel and a tiny spark of hope whispered to me. Perhaps Mr. Weitz and Mr. Lender will decide in the end — to go? After these words of their son Yosef? Perhaps? And this tiny spark of hope whispers softly … Master of the Universe! Will I be fortunate to soon see the land of my desires? Will I be fortunate to look lovingly on her dust?^[18] My big, bold idea that I developed and nurtured [18] with the very best of my youthful vigor won’t be broken? Yikes, how robust the tempest moving around inside me!....I hope! Yes, I hope, otherwise I can’t bear it. But, my God, how can I stop this hope? The hope blossoms in me, deep deep are its roots in my heart and soul. My blood waters and irrigates her [the hope] and she nourishes it, the best of my strength she safeguards inside, and if this hope of mine is uprooted, God forbid, (how terrible!). Via such a terrible reality, my wounds would be awful and terrible, from such a terrible uprooting! Please, my God, do not bring me to this situation which is dangerous for me….

It is very difficult for me to compose those words I wrote above, it is very difficult to let such thoughts enter my mind, but what to do, the thoughts emerge and poke out on their own and it is not possible [19] to prevent them.

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Notes

[17] End of summer in Aramaic ↩

[18] An expression of love, and longing for Zion, following Pslam 102:15 “Your servants will want to build her, and her dust they will long for-they will love” ↩

[July 12, 1914] Sunday, 18th of Tammuz (the 17th of Tammuz Nidcheh [delayed], 5674, Mlynov)^[18a]

“I am not happy, I am not forlorn
(Z. Shneour)
I am awake (alert?)^[19]

I find myself in such a situation at this moment. I don’t know whether to be happy or sad, or more precisely: — in such moments I don’t recognize my situation because today a change took place that is not easy. Today at noon, while I was composing a letter to Mr. D. [David] Weitz requesting that he write me regarding what is being said and developing with respect to their trip to the Land of Israel (Eretz Yisrael) etc.[.] As I was still composing the letter, I see a wagon approaching the courtyard of our home. I lifted my eyes and lo and behold Mr. Avraham Weitz was sitting in the wagon, I am very excited by this because now — I thought —I would learn about the trip in detail. This is what I gleaned directly from Mr. A [Abraham] Weitz. He will not travel this summer for a number of reasons, but his daughter [20] Hinda and Abraham Lender will perhaps go in the month of Elul.* Meanwhile, those were the details he shared with me. And I don’t know at this time if my situation is worse off or remains as before.

My parents told me that if Weitz wasn’t going already, my hopes of going were dashed… but I responded that I didn’t lose anything thereby and it didn’t matter whether they went or didn’t and I would try to obtain an immigration certificate abroad.

Indeed, if only the trip of Weitz’s daughter and Mr. Lender was certain, I wouldn’t lose hope of going this summer. But if the daughter of W. [Weitz] and Lender don’t go, my trip is in grave jeopardy. Well then. This is my situation. Even though today is full of the change described above, nonetheless my “crisis state” is still present and persists. If only I find a way to travel [21] to the home of Mr. Weitz in the forest, and there I hope that I will learn all the travel details of Hinda [Abraham Weitz’s daughter] and Mr. Lender.

Now, at this moment, my mood has changed, the feelings that still fill my heart –they are not clear to me. and Everything is as described in the line I quoted above from Z. Shneour, yes: “I am not happy and I am not forlorn – I am ready”[.] But I know that my inner state is only “temporary” and that in the days ahead the change that took place today – to display the results in my inner self, and what amazing results!, – obviously are not known to me now.

*[Yitzhak added a footnote]: If they will definitely or possibly go — I didn’t clarify (nor the timing), because I wasn’t able to find out, since various factors got in the way of my speaking to him again but I hope to be with him and then I will know everything.

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Notes

[18] The 17th of the month Tammuz is normally a fast day commemorating the breach of the walls of Jerusalem before the destruction of the Second Temple. The fast marks the beginning of a three-week period of mourning leading up to Tisha B'Av. When the 17th of Tammuz falls on the Sabbath, the fast is postponed to the next day. Yitzhak is writing in his diary on that fast day. ↩

[19] The expression “I am alert” is added in pencil. The excerpt is from the poem of Zalman Shneour [Shneur Zalkind (1887 – 1959) “In My Room” (BeHedri) [5664? 1903?] The poem reads “I am not happy, I am not forlorn, I am alert and my heart sleeps.” See Zalman Shneour, Poems, Vol 1. Tel Aviv, 5718 page 42. ... ↩

[July 16, 1914] Thursday, 22 of Tammuz, 5674, Mlynov

I do my present writing in the alley behind our house on the small table that I set up here, I sit now among the grasses [22] in the shade of the willow and I write with a pen, around me many insects pleasantly buzzing [,]which draws my attention, the sun scatters gold radiance all around, and under the trees there is a golden net…. Twittering birds rise up nearby and at a distance; the chirping of grasshoppers in the grasses, everything all around is heartwarming, lovely everything awakens golden dreams, pleasant dreams; And I? — I am captivated while I write now in my “daily” [i.e., diary]. I am silently captivated but my heart overflows its banks, it knows no rest, it storms and bubbles up, something wants to break out, but can’t… yes, my soul knows no rest, my thoughts lift me far, far away. I observe all the splendor spilling out around me and I enjoy it, “I enjoy”—No! How bitter is this enjoyment, how this enjoyment tweaks my heart, constantly, and how is it possible to serenely enjoy all the splendor around? Pleasure and enjoyment flow from the soul [23] and the heart and not from the physical body, the heart and soul are not here but in “the East” [i.e., in the Land of Israel] and only the physical body is here in Exile in “the West” and it is not possible to enjoy^[20] … impossible … everything here is foreign to me and I am a foreigner to all, here I was born, but cruel is this foreign birthplace, this step-mother tortures us, it is enough already to bathe in the mud of Exile, my soul thirsts for the ray of light from the sun of our ancestors' land. Alas who will place me between the mountains of Israel in the Land of Israel! Who will put me now in the shade of the orchard trees, that are planted by the hands of the new builders, children of those who returned to their borders [i.e. Land of Israel] … Who will place me now as a shepherd in the mountains and valleys of our land[?], who will make me now a shepherd of sheep and cattle, under the azure skies of our land in the tent formed by braided branches [?], yikes how strong are the longings now for our land, how much I desire to reach her, to give her rocks a giant hug, a son’s love — who has not seen [24] his mother in so very many days, …. how I long now to stand among the many Hebrew workers and hold a hoe, a spade and a plough and work and sing, to sing from joy, from the joy of building, raising the ruins, singing the song of rebirth of cultivated fields, and vineyards of our land, alas how strong are the longings for our homeland!

You all say, “all of these are vapid hallucinations!” But no, I know all the bitterness in life, the bitter reality that resists and conquers the fantasy of man; I know that from afar all sparkles and glows in an abundance of colors and lights up in its beauty, and when coming to the place itself, lo is not everything wilderness and broken earthenware fragments, isolated shrubs, and gloomy rocks that darken, I know all of that, the hopes that even though the end of most – is ephemeral; afterwards in the end the dreams come alive, rub your eyes and behold everything is reversed… [25]

I know the bitter reality in our land – – – –I know it all, you all shouldn’t say that the thoughts flow from a “vain hallucination.” No! I know it all but I pay attention. Longings for the Land of Israel bubble from a pure well that is not murky…I long for my land, because it is the birthplace of my people, I yearn for her, with my desire to leave the bitter exile and live on the soil of our land and restore the ruins, and this is not all, much more is hidden in the depths of my soul, but it is hard to dredge it all up and put it on paper.

My land, the land of my people, pulls me towards her with enchantment, and it can’t be otherwise… she pulls me upward to her, so it will be! And the God of Zion my help!

It has been several days since the change in my situation mentioned in my previous entry occurred. Meanwhile, I don’t have any important and interesting updates [26]. I hope to visit Mr. Weitz during Shabbat and learn everything. Will his daughter make the journey? When? Will [their relative] Lender go? Everything, everything. But who knows if I will the opportunity to visit them on the Sabbath. And have I not been yearning quite strongly already to know something. My heart is already so terrified lest…lest… But I will not continue to write bitter thoughts like these. I will stop.

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Notes

[20] Following Judah HaLevi “My heart is in the East and I in the end am in the West/ How will I taste food and how can I be pleasant”. ↩

[July 19, 1914] Sunday, 25th Tammuz 5674 Mlynov

Yesterday [on the Sabbath] we already said the blessing for the new month,^[20a] [the month] Menachem Av.^[20b] Alas, how true is the folk saying (in Yiddish): A man plans and God laughs.^[21] At the start of summer, I intended that during this time I would prepare those things that need to be put in place to fulfill my hope [to make aliyah], and now? Yes, I hope, I hope (that) the one who dwells in heaven thinks about me—I hope, but the reality of life is otherwise. [27] It was decreed. Thus are the lives of mortal men. Hope is long-lived, but perishable, hope appears suddenly and is created in a flash. Yes, the dream is pleasant and good and persists but waking up arrives in a split second and behold the radiance and majesty of the dream passes. The fate of man is hard, every single step he contemplates taking forward requires much work and according to most, he doesn’t have the strength to walk at all if the effort before him is great – he dies a spiritual death and sometimes a corporeal one, from the burden of the bitter life, and let me try to delve into and penetrate my conscience thoughts that arise sometimes in my head during moments of despair. “And if a person arrives finally at the longed for goal that he aimed for with what remains of his strength, is all the effort worthwhile? [where is closed quotes?] And what good is life when in reality there is death in the world and it steals everything, and when a person works hard and approaches his goal and his life is full of tremendous deeds, for everyone who is precious to him [28] what is the profit in all this if death will in the end take him from the land of the living? At times there is everything, all the world and its tumult, human deeds and the results of their spirit, everything, everything is worthless in my eyes knowing that death is in the world… And I also sometimes look afar with a disparaging eye at all the different political parties in [the people] Israel and [other] peoples at the people’s hope and revival, at all of it, all of it, I treat as foolishness if the end is death. And if the great “truth” that needs saying, “What is life?” And what is its true nature? Which faith is honorable? etc. etc.…– it is not in this world. These are the thoughts that sometimes arise and intrude in my mind, but I don’t let these thoughts into my heart, since they are only fleeting; I know “With righteousness God made men plain but they have engaged in too much reasoning.”^[22] [quoting Ecclesiastes 7:29]

I know that it is necessary to devote oneself to the work life [29] with joy and with happiness and if there “death” — who knows maybe it is for the best, were not the fate of people so very bitter?...

Yes the words that were written above, they are only momentary thoughts and no more. My heart is focused now really only on one exalted idea – to make aliyah to the land of Israel to restore there her ruins and to see with my own eyes my beloved people resurrected after thousands of years of its exile, I really want to see the work of revival, all of it going on and coming to fruition now in the land of our fathers. That is my goal with every breath, the goal of life! And the thoughts mentioned above will not frighten me.

[After that digression,] I will return to my subject. In the beginning of the summer, I thought that now I can I can prepare myself for my journey for sure, but because of the change with Mr. Weitz my hope also changed. And now I don’t know “what is my situation?”

[30] I intended to go to Mr. Weitz on the Sabbath day, but there was no wagon. And even if there was, I wouldn’t have been able to go because my left foot still hurts and is lame.*) And maybe one of them will be here today in Mlynov? But it seems to be that no one will be. I don’t know what to do, but just in case Weitz’s daughter definitely travels, I want to make sure I already have the certification.

And thus, I need to decide something in this matter.

*[Yitzhak added this footnote:] I didn’t write about the incident but I’ll do so here: The last Sabbath day my brother asked me to draw a little cold water for him from the well behind our house, I did as he asked and began to work the drawing mechanism but suddenly, the iron piece that surrounds the mechanism—fell on my foot, and the pain from injury was intense. I thought that my foot would heal quickly but nine days have passed and I still am still limping and I can’t walk anywhere, and I am so sad because of this.

When Mr. Weitz was in our home, he said that when he was in Radzivilov^[23] he saw the young man Shmuel^[24] from the village of Hubyn [Hubyn Pershyi],^[25] where my brother holds a senior position, and the young man whined a lot about the cancelation of the trip to the Land of Israel, and he went to Radzivilov so that he could travel directly from there to the Land of Israel and his hope and heart’s desire [31] almost materialized. Then suddenly the residents of Hubyn retracted their decision to send him to the Land of Israel. And he returned to his town. And Mr. Weitz described how much this youth whined and complained, and in recounting these things Mr. W. [Weitz] was overcome with mercy for this forlorn [young man], and I know his feelings well, the heart of a young Hebrew man, faithful and hopeful, who longs and dreams incessantly about aliyah to the land of the ancestors, and who was already along the path to the realization of his idea and suddenly everything was destroyed—and he returned to foreign town in exile (galut) to the foreign men in with bitter disappointment - alas, how difficult is this situation and what a great inner tragedy for this young man. Ha! Overwhelming sorrow upon you, my dear friend, my soul is also silent crying out of sight, from fear that its hope will be in vain. But no, both my hope and your hope are not in vain, come brother let us hope that the soles of our feet will yet stand on the earth of Israel. [32] The land of pulls a]nd tugs my heart with a spell; my longings pinch and squeeze it, yikes, how strong is the longing, how depleted is [the longing of] my soul for the land of the ancestors and when, my God, will I be favored with putting my soles on the earth of the land drawing my dreams, when will I be favored to be on our holy land.

How great and strong are the longing and in particular now at this moment when I sit and write my entry behind my house by the small table, in the shade … of the willows and among the green grasses, the longing nips at and bites my heart without stopping, and I dream and dream, my imagination lifts me far far away and presents me my precious land her mountains and cultivated fields, her hills and valleys. Alas, how it pulls my heart, how strong is the longing.

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Notes

[20a] It is tradition to announce the upcoming new month on the Sabbath preceding it, after the Torah reading. ↩

[20b] The name of the month is Av (which means father) but it is traditional to call the month Menachem Av (consoling father) because the month is a low point of the Jewish calendar, memorializing the destruction of the first and second Temple. In modern observance, the prayer ushering in the new moon is recited on the Sabbath preceding the appearance of the new moon. ↩

[21] A Yiddish idiom: “A man plans [intends] and God plays” [on his plans [ and determines his fate] [Translator: a bit like the English expression “the best laid plans…”] ↩

[22] According to Ecclesiastes 7:29[…] “But, see, this I did find: God made men plain, but they have engaged in too much reasoning. [Translator: the first part of the quote does not appear in Ecclesiastes. It is unclear if Yitzhak is misremembering or just glossing the biblical passage. ↩

[23] Radzivilov, recognized by the name Radyvyliv, a small town in the district of Rovno in Ukraine, 10 km north east of the town Brody, and about 50 km southwest of Mlynov. ↩

[24] Shmuel Borshtak, a young man the same age as Lamdan, one of his close friends. He wrote and met with him many times in Ukraine and the Land of Israel. He changed his name to Shmuel Dagan. He lived at first in Sharona in the Galilee, and afterwards in Kefar Yehoshua. He is mentioned twice in the continuation of the diary, and in the letters of Lamdan. See: Avidov Liphskar, ed., Letters of Yitzhak Lamdan, Tel Aviv, Genazim and Keren Yisrael Motz, 5,758 (1997-98), pp. 41-43, Letter 1, 45-49; Letter 3, 60-63, Letter 9, p. 60. In the continuation of the diary, members of his family are mentioned: Abraham Borshtak, his brother, and also Yeheziel and Dvorah, his parents, Shlomo his uncle, and Yaakov (his uncle?). See the description of his splendid house Borshtak, in Bereschetko, in the writing of Yosef Weitz, “Family of Mendel Hobner,” in: “There was a Town,” pp. 207-09. ↩

[25] The first Hubyn (Hubyn Pershyi) located 30 km southwest of Lutzk (to differentiate from just Hubin which is also in Volyn, 50 km west of Lutzk); Lamdan stayed in this town when the [WWI] front approached Mlynov (See Diary 2, page 80 and following). ↩

[July 21, 1914] Tuesday, 12th of Tammuz, early afternoon, 5674, Mlynov

I didn’t think about writing now in my dairy at all due to a lack of materials. [33] But I wanted to organize the thoughts I am having now in this [entry]. Shimon Berger^[26] came from Dubna [now Dubno, Ukraine]^[27] where he went a week ago, and now came to our home, he said that he has a basis for the purchase of hops (crushta)^[28] for Dubno. And so on, and he said that he needed an office (Контор)^[29] for a bookkeeper for buying hops in Dubno and was it possible that my brother Moshe^[30] would serve in this position and suddenly he exclaimed, “if only he (meaning me) would travel to Dubno and observe all the work related to hops, then, he would become a man over time, and he— he wants to journey to Palestine. What will you do there? You will work and work etc.”

Obviously, I don’t pay attention to proof points from someone like Mr. Shimon Berger…but his words when taken on their own prompt me to think a bit about my present and future situation. Now I am thinking about what I think about frequently.

Both strangers and relatives, are not able (God forbid that I come to them [34] with this grievance) to understand my heart; their outlook is not able to comprehend my desire; my thinking and thoughts are strange to them. I am not able to dedicate [myself] to a job at some warehouse or anything— this I know for sure— haggling is totally strange to me and I am not patient by nature. My fate will be terribly bitter in life, if bitter reality smashes my aspiration and hope and I am forced, despite my nature and desire, to be ultimately stuck here.*

*[Yitzhak added a footnote:] But hope in me is strong because the good God will not bring me to this Still I ask myself, what are these longings? Indeed, I long and dream a great deal.

But what do my longings all in all amount to now and what about the future of my hope—My hope is: to exit exile (galut), which defigured my people, and make aliyah to the land of revival, the land of the ancestors and offspring; to work there on the people’s field and its literature, to drive a post in the soil of our land and dwell among her mountains [35] to enjoy oneself in the radiance of her sun, the blue of her heavens, and see with my eyes the rebirth of my people and the development of her name.

To go up to the Land of Israel and to rebuild her ruins, to work there on the field of literature and the people and establish there my dwelling—this in short defines the program of my aspiration. A secret prayer arises and erupts from the depths of my heart to the God of Zion: “Please, My God, do not forsake me and favor me to realize my lofty aspirations, and please do not leave me to drown here in exile (galut) in the filthy mud and be confounded before my time.”

And my fervent hope is that the same God who brought the members of Bilu and all the pioneers of revival to the land of their aspiration, who sacrificed their lives for her sake, and drenched her with their blood, will favor me, their poor brother, who yearns for the land of the ancestors and is faithful to the idea of revival with a complete heart and soul – that He will bring me to the land that fulfills my dreams.

[36] At this time, as in the first days, I am very sad, very that it is not possible to find in my poems an easy expression of my feelings and longings for the soil of our land. More than once or twice, I already began on this — but no success! Surely, a situation like this is not ideal. A parable [:] what is this situation like? — to a man who is dumbstruck while speaking and he has so much more to relay and say and the matters are troubling him—and he is not able to get a word out of his mouth, and all of it, all of it ferments and storms deep inside.

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Notes

[26] Shimon Berger (Harari) friend of Lamdan, lived in the town Lobachivka, Ukraine: xxx, in the distict of Volyn, which is 40 km west of Mlynov. In the entry of Lamdan on the 8th of Tevet 5676 [Dec. 15, 1915] he writes about him: “one of my good acqaintances Berger student of Yiddish yeshiva, who lived close to Berestechko, whom I got to know in Dubno in the company of Rivitman.” Lamdn corresponded and met with him again in other places in Ukraine during the First World War. ↩

[27] Dubna: Dubno, a city in the region of Rovno in western Ukraine. Located about 10 km southeast of Mlynov. It was one of the known Jewish centers in Eastern Europe and in its center. Its name was associated in the 18th century with the name “Maggid of Dubno,” Rabbi Jacob ben Wolf Kranz (1741 – 1804) a preacher and speaker of famous parables who lived there. ↩

[28] Chamil a Russian word translated as “hop.” cuscuta, grain that served for the production of liquor, Lamdan used the Aramaic term “hop” (see for example Babylonia Talmud. Baba Metzia 42:72) ↩

[29] The word “kantor” Russian for offices. A mistaken expression for Russian Kantora, office ↩

[30] Moshe the fourth sibling of Yitzhak Lamdan, (Yitzhak was the sixth). In 1922 when Lamdan was in Sharona, he learned that during the Civil War in Ukraine 1919 he was thrown from a moving train by Deniken soldiers and was killed. Lamdan dedicated the poem Masada to him. See Letters of Yitzhak Lamdan, pp. 46-49, letter 3. ↩

[July 22, 1914] Wednesday, 28 Tammuz, 5674, evening, Mlynov

A courier for Mr. Weitz came to us. [His son] David sent a “note” in which he requested that we subscribe on their behalf to [the newspaper] “HaZeman” that they previously stopped receiving. He erred and forgot that two months ago I subscribed them for six months, and he was still entitled to receive four [37] months [worth], and so I wrote to him and pointed out his mistake* and after this I wrote: “what is known about the trip of his sister to the Land of Israel? I will try to visit them on the Sabbath, and learn everything, but if I can’t come — please write me about this.”

*[Yitzhak added this footnote here:] this was the two weeks that HaZeman wasn’t received and I don’t know the reason. Did it stop coming out? Or was an error of the administration in the middle. A real shame if it stopped coming out. But I think it was a mistake of the administration.

The time has surely arrived when the nature of my situation will be clarified. I wanted to go to them on the [prior] Sabbath and tomorrow, during the market day, when I can easily get a wagon, but the delay is: – my swollen foot hasn’t healed yet, and if the Lord helps and my foot heals, it is possible I will go there.

Today, Moshe Grinspun^[31] came to Mlynov. He too previously decided to journey to the Land of Israel. [God says:] My children yearn — they [long for] for the lap of the wonderful homeland!

During this time the harvest already began. At every moment a wagon full of sheaves of grain passes by and sitting on it is a farmer. I watch this scene [38] that stirs many different feelings inside me. The farmer sits and much joy and happiness fills his heart, he labors with hard work all day long in the field, but no complaint is uttered from his lips, the smell of earth does not give him reason to complain and when he brings his crop to the threshing floor he is fulfilled by endless pleasure! And when, Lord of the World, will I finally be fortunate to see the Hebrew farmer in our land? When finally will I be fortunate to see with my own eyes that example of rejuvenation?.... At these moments when I draw up my entry, behind our house, in the alleyway next to my desk, song reaches the ears, singing of the reapers returning home from the fields. Alas, what beauty and strength there is this singing. What joy and bliss this singing contains. When will I be fortunate to hear the song of our farmers, the song of new revival and saturation of light that serves the earth of our land and the drenching dew that falls on her mountains? When? When already will I be fortunate to hear the singing of our farmers, the song of new revival[,] the fulfilling light serving the soil of our land and the moist dew falling on her mountains? When? When will I finally be fortunate [39] to hear the chime of Hebrew language spoken and sung on the lips of Israel’s daughters in the land of the ancestors? And how long will foreign language grate on my ears, the strange content here in Galut? When will I be favored with this? fortune come my way?

Eretz! Eretz!^[31] How my soul longs for you! How strong my longings for you! Eretz! Eretz! I see how you signal from afar for me to come to you! You pull and pull me with your enchantment and please look where I am standing, look and see the rocky obstacle that lies on my way to you! But in truth will they restrain me for coming to you, Will these indeed overcome your strength, the strength of your charm that I love and my sublime love for you? Will it? No! Strong is my hope in the God of Zion, because something like this will not happen!

The sun sets. Nature is lovely and nice all about, thus heartwarming and charming, it is possible to enjoy oneself and to find contentment [40] in nature’s lap! But this is not the case with me: Enjoying myself is not possible all the more so finding any bit of contentment in nature in exile. My heart is in the far, far east, and all my thoughts and conversation are in the land of my ancestors.

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Notes

[31] Moshe Grinspun one of Lamdan’s good friends. He is mentioned several additional times in the dairy. Lamdan met him in Ukraine during the World War [I] and its aftermath and stayed with his parents in Berestechko, Ukraine which is in western Europe, 50 km west of Dubno. ↩

[31a] [Translator's comment: Eretz meaning land, a shortened form of Eretz Yisrael, Land of Israel [HS]. ↩

[July 23, 1914] Thursday, eve of the new month, Menachem Av, 5674, Mlynov

What troublesome grief now fills my entire heart. Today I thought about traveling to Mr. Weitz to learn everything I could about their trip, [and] I am already short-tempered by my “crises period”… I wanted to learn something definitive, but sadly, there were no wagons from the forest here despite it being a market day. Tomorrow they will send someone to pick up meat, but no doubt, a worker will come by foot via the forest [i.e., a wagon won’t be sent]. And moreover: I won’t be with Weitz this Sabbath, and the next Sabbath (God willing), [41] I won’t be able to travel [to the home of Weitz] because that Sabbath is “Shabbat Hazon” and during these days of mourning it is not customary to travel for the purpose of visiting. Therefore two weeks will pass without clarifying anything about my situation, and this saddens me and this is the reason grief now fills my heart.

My brother Moshe hasn’t yet traveled to Hubyn [Pershyi]^[33] with Avraham Borshtak and his sister who was staying with him since yesterday. I drafted a letter to Shmuel Borshtak, the young man I wrote about in a previous entry [see July 19] who was already on the way to the Land of Israel when his sponsors reneged and returned him to his home.

His sister sent me a message on his behalf requesting that I visit him in their village for a while. And on that basis, I wrote him my letter. I responded that it is impossible to come for several reasons, one reason being: that I am in a “crisis period” and I need to stand guard and to explore all the root causes of my situation and its progress and every day can bring large, noticeable changes and at a time like this it is not possible to travel, which is in fact the case. I also advised him in my letter that if he is set on traveling [to the land of Israel], he should enter agricultural school. I also wrote him about my sharing in his sadness that he wasn’t going to the Land of Israel. I also consoled him and that he should not despair and not become dispirited.

I sit at the table and write my [diary] entries, and the grief kicks my butt, so afraid I am of my situation. I’ve been wanting to hear something clear and decisive from Weitz. “Was his trip canceled completely? Would his daughter Hinda journey for sure? Would Mr. Lendar also go?[”] I’ve been wanting to know everything even the smallest detail regarding my travel, and therefore I have a strong desire to be at the Weitz home at this time. If his responses are positive, I will begin immediately seeking an [immigration] certificate, in preparation for the journey, I would voice my decision to my parents, etc., and I would talk with them about everything [43] related to this. But if I get Weitz’s positive responses much later, — who knows if I will have time enough to prepare everything by the targeted date.

[“]My God, My God! I think about paving a new road and it is a road to the land of your people-my people for which my soul yearns and longs. Please bring me along this road in peace and grant me the fortune to soon be on the soil of the Land of Israel in peace.”

With this prayer that bursts from the depths of my heart, and from this silent grief that disturbs me, I conclude this entry.

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Notes

[33] The critical edition explains that the Hebrew formulation means “to the town of Hubyn.” ↩

[July 27, 1914] Monday, 4 Menachem Av, 5674, Mlynov

Today at noon I received a note from Mr. D. [David] Weitz with these words:* “Shalom to you Mr. Yitzhak, my dear friend! What is the news about [the newspaper] “HaZeman,” did it stop publishing? Have you received an answer to your postcards? What did they answer you? Did they respond to your postcard? And if it really did stop publishing, please subscribe for me to Sephira.^[34] Regarding my sister’s journey to the Land of Israel, it is still up in the air. Regards to your honored sisters,^[35] regards David. [44]

Here is the situation: regarding the journey of my sister, it is still up in the air.” Thus the situation is not good at all. It is possible to hope that Mr. Weitz will decide that she goes—but it is only a “possible” hope… It is possible the opposite will happen…The trip itself now suffers a crisis, different in it’s meaning a bit from the meaning of my spiritual “crisis”… “It still is up in the air,” until when Lord of the Universe? When will they make a final decision? The situation is not pleasant at all. Is it possible it will improve? Ha! my heart is frozen… and now that I know the travel situation of the young Weitz woman—the need grows even more intense— to go visit Mr. Weitz in the forest and learn there the detailed matters about the trip, from such details I will without a doubt learn a great deal and it will be possible for me to plan subsequently for my situation.

*[Yitzhak’s footnote to the above:] I copied his words in this entry without changing his language.

But this week, it is impossible to travel because [45] of the days of national mourning [the first nine days of Av]. It is possible that during these days someone from the Weitz home will be in Mlynov—but it’s not possible to rely heavily on this.

Behold, yes this is now my time of “crisis.”

Yesterday I wrote a postcard to my brother who is staying now in Hubyn [Pershyi]. I asked him to bring me back the book of Mr. [Moshe] Smilansky, “Generations of One Love [Toldot Ahavah Ahat]”^[36] and the book of Dr. M. [Mordechai] Rabinson, “Generations of New Hebrew Literature.”^[37]

In the margins of yesterday’s [newspaper] HaZeman,** an announcement was disseminated among the disciples of [the organization] Ezra,^[38] from those who were formerly members but who came over to our camp during the War. The proclamation which was addressed in quiet enthusiasm that was so impressive, with a national genius, to those who remained in the traitor’s camp, – impacted me very much, in realizing the solid national education that the students received in our schools, that compelled them to produce a proclamation like this. And there is hope that the words of the proclamation will make the needed impression among the disciples of [46] Ezra.***

The distribution of the proclamation was something that needed to be done – there was no doubt about it. Because how can ours heart not be pained in knowing, that these students were educated in a spirit foreign to our people, in the German language and despising our national movement – they need to be educated as our country men, and in a place where we work with all our strength, and this is how all our energy should be consumed, for the Land of Israel will be a land of complete rejuvenation, launching a new generation that is created through a revival movement – [otherwise] in the future [the land of Israel] will be a place of “those who assimilated” and “traitors” like in exile (galut). Therefore it is necessary to fight with all our strength to save what can be saved. It is necessary to weaken and diminish as much as possible the influence of a foreign culture in our Land and if the influence indeed weakens, in the end it will be snuffed out.

**[Yitzhak’s footnote] It began to be received [last] Friday [after a hiatus remarked on in earlier entries]
***[Yitzhak’s footnote] what I read already today in Der Moment^[39]

Today the booklet, HaShiloach, was received[,] the first issue for the second half of the year. Among other things, the continuation of the story by A. A. [ Aaron Abraham] Kabak, “Mystery of the Land” begins and it was very satisfying [47][,] I also enjoyed reading from this issue about the lives of the worldly Israelis whom I love and respect so much…. just as a story from the lives of those in the Land of Israel was published in the previous issue, called “Insult” from A. Talush. I so enjoyed reading such things because, is it not obvious, it strengthens my idea to make aliyah in the near future to the Land of Israel. I yearn to read about the new lives unfolding in the Land of Israel, until I can’t read constantly about the lives in exile…ha! How I love our land and all that is being realized there.

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Notes

[34] Sephira the first Hebrew newspaper in Poland. First published in 1862 initially weekly and then daily as of 1886. The first editor was Chaim Zelig Slominski (HaZas), who edited with an enlightened spirit, as a periodical for news, science and literature. Around the 1880s, the head editor was Nahum Sokolov, and progressively the newspaper became focused on Zionist issues. In its editions were published literature from Mendele Mocher Sforim, Shalom Aleichem, Frishmann and Berdyczewski, and also young creators like Uri Zvi Grinberg, and like Agnon. See Menuha Gilboa, Lexicon of Hebrew Newspapers in the 18th and 19th Centuries. Tel Aviv. Mosad Bialik and University of Tel Aviv. 5,754 [1993-94], 167-181. ↩

[35] In Lamdan’s family there were four sisters and two brothers, according to this order. Henya (1884-1961), Devorah-Rivka (Rivah) (1889-1942), Hannah (Hanstza) (1892-1942), Moshe (died in 1919), Malcah died in 1980, Yitzhak (1897-1954). ↩

[36] Moshe Smilansky (1874-1953), Toldot Ahavah Ahat. Warsaw: 5671 [1910-1911]. [Translator’s comment]: Smilansky was a pioneer of the First Aliyah and a Zionist leader who advocated peaceful coexistence with the Arabs in Mandatory Palestine. He was born in Telpino, Ukraine, influenced by Bilu, and by disciples of Leo Tolstoy. He was also a disciple of Ahad Haam. Smilansky travelled to Ottoman Palestine in 1890, at the age of 16.[HS] ↩

[37] Mordechai Rabinson (1877-1953), Our New Literature: A History of Our New Hebrew Literature. Vilna: Rosenkrantz and Schriftztzer Publishing, 1913. [Translator’s note: the Rabinson volume Our New Literature includes monographs on the history of Hebrew writers from Avraham Mapo to Mordechai Ze'ev Fierberg , the content of their work, and a critical view of their nature and value. Unlike others, Rabinson believed that proper beautiful literature developed in Hebrew only in the second half of the 19th century , and therefore began his book with Avraham Mapo. Rabinson assigned each poet and writer a literary genre, and explained what the writer’s general nature was. The book is considered the first textbook of modern Hebrew literature. [HS] ↩

[38] “Aid Society of German Jews” (Hilsverein der Deutschen Juden), (abbreviated as “Ezra” [meaning Aid]) a humanist aid organization of German Jews that expressed faith in German culture and its spread among Jews of Eastern Europe, the Balkans and Middle East. Ezra offered aid in 1901-1939 to those injured in pogroms with Hebrews schools, professional development and encouragement to immigrate to the United States. It competed with Alliance [Alliance Israélite Universelle] which propagated French culture. See Yishayahu Friedman, “The Organization ‘Ezra’: The German Foreign Office and its Polemic with Zionists, 1901-1918,” Kathedra 20 (July 1981), 97-122. ↩

[39] The Yiddish daily called The Moment was among the important Jewish papers in Poland, established in 1910 by Noah Prilutsky and identified Prilutsky in the Judaism of Poland, who preached integration in the Polish community. In its later years, it became pro Revisionism and Zeev Jabotinsky and Uri Tzvi Greenberg wrote for it. ↩

[July 29, 1914] Wednesday, 6 of Menachem Av, 5674, Mlynov

My present situation has become insufferable, so painfully difficult, I cannot bear it; I am sick of the continuing crisis. It has gone on a long time and still I cannot exit from it–and who knows when it will end. Surely, I can’t deny that if, God forbid, the crisis of mine ends negatively (yikes, how terrible) – it would be much better [48] that the crisis continues and I will at least enjoy more of the hope… enjoyment for the present moment… Yes, this is the psychology today of a person in such a situation, but despite this, I am already tired of my present situation, and want to know in which world I am. When and how will I learn the details [about]the journey from Mr. Weitz–it is impossible for me to know, and this is how I am left hanging.

Today I walked to Mervits,^[43] to deliver butter, and when I returned home from there, I was accompanied [24] by Ben-Tzion [Gruber]^[44] from Mervits, and along the way, some Christian laborers and a few Jewish ones were repairing the road. As we passed, two Christian workers began to ridicule and insult us. (Were they not working alongside a Jewish contractor, we undoubtedly would have received a generous reliable beating.) My blood boiled inside, and I was entirely consumed with vengeance; if I could, I would have torn the attackers of our honor to bits,^[44a] why? Are we dogs? It is impossible to resist insulting us? And who are these abusers? Are we despicable and worthless as their insults suggest? [49] Why doesn’t their impure blood relax when they see Jews pass and why do they feel an obligation to insult us? But all of [the reactions] have to be kept confined inside. It is forbidden to protest– in the diaspora [galut] we are in exile [galut]. How terrible. And when we lay down to rest on the grass, some distance further, I bent the ear of Ben-Tzion about one matter as follows: Among all my aspirations, one pulls me to the Land of Israel, one which I hope is materialized, not a fantasy or an illusion. And this matter is significant: ‘a free Hebrew surroundings,” a Hebrew environment in the Land of Israel, where we can feel free and not feel the terrible chains of the exile.

In the Land of Israel, a Jew can be his own person. To be sure, there are in the Land of Israel many haters of Israel, many are Arabs, but there the situation is different. Here in exile, I can’t take revenge against those who rise against us [50]. Here we are always like a lamb led to slaughter (Isa 53:7). Always we have to bend our head, and lay bare out neck to the knife prepared to slaughter, but there in our land, we are a people with a land that it protects. There we can take vengeance, we can protest, we can fight and protect our soil and our freedom. And the Hebrew surroundings in the Land of Israel is important and develops and only there is it perhaps possible to find more than a little contentment. I am certain that if I find this in the Land of Israel–I will not long for Russia, the land of our terrible exile and oppression.

And when, o’ when will I finally be fortunate to pass time in a Hebrew surroundings in the Land of Israel… Alas! When, my God, when?!

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Notes

[43] The town Mervits, is the neighboring town that borders Mlynov. Don’t confuse this place with the village Mervits further away, that is in the area of Volyn, 20 km northeast of Lutsk, and 50 km north of Mlynov. ↩

[44] Ben-Tzion Gruber from Mervits, a friend of Lamdan. He is mentioned another time in the diary on the 19th [18th] of Elul 7654 [Thursday, Sept. 9, 1914]. He is described there as having literary talent and a Zionist bent and viewed him as a suitable conversation partner because “we are of like minds.” [Translator’s comment]: Genealogical research indicates he was a son of Yosef Gruber and Shifra [Teitelman]. Ben-Tzion Gruber was also described as having literary talents in an essay by Eliyahu Gelman, “The Two of Them,” Mlynov-Mervits Memorial Book, p. 221. He was called “Bentzi” there and described as a friend of Lamdan’s who preceded Lamdan in writing stories sponsored by Bialik. He went to Odessa but returned to Mlynov, married, settled down and became a grain trader. He was later killed in the Shoah. [HS] ↩

[44a] The Hebrew uses the metaphor “torn up like fish” suggesting an image of fish being prepared for a meal. [HS] ↩

August 1914

[August 2, 1914] Sunday, 10th of Av, “Tisha B’Av Nidcheh” [the 9th of Av postponed], 5674, Mlynov

These last few days I didn’t write anything in my “daily” [i.e. diary] [51] – extraordinary news more or less important to my personal situation and my life in general – didn’t happen to me, and until recently, I thought the latest events superfluous for entries in my “daily.”

Behold what bedlam entered the world because of the conflict that broke out between Austria and Serbia due to the recent murder of the Austrian Crown prince – Destruction and devastation is now foreseen for all the people of Europe and maybe the population of the entire globe. In the future it will soon ignite into a world war, God forbid.^[45] Even though it is possible all this is superfluous, I will write here briefly about these latest developments – thinking that perhaps in the future, when I live[,] I will enjoy the memory of these things: It is not possible for Russia, which is the guardian of Serbia, to sit on its hands when Austria goes against Serbia causing destruction. Russia is compelled to offer Serbia [52] help, and via this, war broke out between Austria and Russia. The first assistance came from Germany and Italy and secondarily from France and Great Britian. These were the leading heroes of the “World War,” but in the future the conflagration is likely to possess all the people of the Balkans, the people of the Far and Near East and encompass the whole world, delivering devastation to all her inhabitants.

The situation is difficult now, exceedingly hard and awful. This week in our town the movement [of people] was very significant. They already called up the “reserve forces” and repeatedly demanded horses, wagons, and so on. The fear among the residents is very great because we worry, God forbid, about ruin or exile if the War breaks out. Our fate is difficult now, but not only ours but the fate of all the people in the world who face devastation, exile and starvation. Yikes, how horrible is all this! [53]

The movement in our town is significant. Every day groups congregate in the streets, groups of people speaking about the war and the terrible situation. Whenever rumors arrive, news proliferates, false rumors with no foundation, as is typical in this kind of situation. In the air, the “smell of war” is detected, what a terrible thing bubbling and forming in it. When the time comes when the letter carrier leaves the post office, the whole town stands and waits with bated breath for the news reported by the newspapers; Every person who comes from Dubno is quickly surrounded [and peppered] with different questions about what is heard in the town: What is the situation there, etc. etc. Everyone is terrified, very panicked and indeed did not hair stand on end when they presented us with the terrible future picture of our evacuation with the future war, God forbid, breaking out.

The situation is difficult and terrible and its end–who will watch over us?!

In such a situation, it is possible for me to think about my [54] personal matters? At a moment when a cloud of sorrow covers all the faces from abundant worry, in a moment when the same question marks all faces: “Where to?” “What will be?”– Is it possible for me to think about my personal situation? Now I am lost among all those who are lost. To the Land of Israel, it is not possible for me to travel for two reasons: a) Is it possible for me to leave my parents and all my siblings in this terrible situation? b) Now in this situation of war, it is difficult to get an immigration certificate outside the Land of Israe, and therefore impossible to think about journeying to the Land of Israel.

In this way the situation is complicated and therefore very terrible!

Today they already stuck up an announcement in our town indicating that now our town is in a “war zone”–this matter is exceedingly awful.

Moshe [my brother] is in Hubyn [Pershyi]. A postcard from him was received on Friday in which he wrote that he would come here after the Sabbath, but I don’t have expect^[46] that he will come. And I very much want him to come, now during this terrible situation I want us to be together.

I received a postcard today from Moshe Katz^[47] in which he was annoyed with me because the past two months I didn’t reply to his letter.

Today is Tisha B’Av Nidcheh [The 9th of Av commemoration postponed”] and I am fasting. The air is indeed filled with great sadness for the reasons indicated above. The people move about like shadows from all the grief.

The present [commemoration] Tisha B’Av is 2,500 years since the destruction of the first Temple and the first destruction of our nation, yes, and now we wander about in an awful and endless exile (galut) that has no end.

And indeed [the time] has already arrived when our people will begin to extricate ourselves from this bitter exile [galut] and live on the soil of the Land of Israel and undergo a “complete revival.” The time has come! “How long will there be crying in Israel and mourning in Jerusalem?”^[48]

I would perhaps have written a bit more of my innermost thought in these moments, but the hour is late already and I need to go to the prayer house to recite afternoon prayers. It is possible I will continue my entries today.

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Notes

[Translator’s additional comment: The original footnote of the critical edition appears confused on the dates since it seems to assume that Yitzhak made his entry on August 4th not the 5th. To clarify: on July 28th, a month after the assassination of the archduke, Austria-Hungary declared war on Serbia. Russia began mobilizing in response. On Aug. 1st, Germany demanded Russia stop mobilization. When Russia refused, Germany declared war on Russia. On Aug. 2nd, Yitzhak writes his first journal entry. He already knows that Austria-Hungary and Russia have gone to war, and he mentions assistance coming from Germany and France, though Germany only formally declared war on France on Aug 3rd , a day later. Yitzhak apparently is already anticipating what will happen in his Aug. 2nd entry. In Yitzhak’s next entry on Aug 5th, he mentions that Germany declared War and that the War has already broken out. He isn’t receiving news about how the War is progressing between Austria and Russia/ Serbia. [HS] ↩

[46] The intent of the Hebrew is to imply– I don’t have hope… ↩

[47] Moshe Katz, a friend of Lamdan. He stayed in touch with him via letters from the Land of Israel. He is mentioned in a letter from Lamdan to Daniel Pirsky. See Letters of Yitzhak Lamdan, p. 100, Letter 20. [Translator’s note: Moshe Katz most likely refers to the man known later in the US under the pen name of Aleph Katz as a respected Yiddish poet. He was born in Mlynov with the name Moshe Abraham Katz in 1898 and was a year younger than Yitzhak. They were probably in cheder together and shared an interest in poetry. Moshe migrated to the US with his mother and siblings in Dec. 1913. Moshe must have been writing to Yitzhak from America.[HS] ↩

[48] Quoting a lamentation said on the eve of Tisha B’Av (the 9th of Av) in which the author is unknown: The full sentence reads: How long will there be crying in Zion, mourning in Jerusalem, console Zion, and build the walls of Jerusalem.” ↩

[August 5, 1914] Wednesday, 13th of Menahem Av, 5674, Mlynov

I am writing my present entry after the 3rd hour,^[48a] following the departure of [my sister] Ribah and [her husband] Mutil^[49] (who arrived yesterday in the evening) and their nice likeable toddler. The separation was very difficult, the heart was grief-stricken and [there was] crying, the eyes tearing non-stop… sobbing choking our airways, so very hard was the separation, we parted and who knows if we will see each other again?!...we hugged one another and prayed that the Lord would favor us to see each other again and be happy. Woe, how much did we all cry! They left [57] and fear from the commotion of war grew. Already there is expected to be military men here during this time in Mlynov and everyone trembles and shudders and across the faces of everyone are traces of sadness. And at this time, my sister journeyed and it is hard, exceedingly hard, the separation. A heavy stone weighs still on my heart, unrest rules all my limbs, what deep sadness picks inside my soul, and this is, I realize, the situation of everyone.

And in addition to this, in general, terrible confusion governs everyone regarding the events that recently transpired; everyone is lost in their innermost thoughts, and nothing is clear, no one knows now in which world he lives.^[49a] And indeed the situation is so very difficult. Germany already declared war against Russia, and the War has already broken out. What is heard about the war between Austria, Serbia and Russia–we know nothing, because the newspapers are not being received from Warsaw or other cities, but it appears from Russia’s frequent and urgent preparations [58] the situation there is also not at all encouraging.

Just as with everyone, in my life too, terrible confusion rules. I can't think now about my situation – because how is it possible, at this time, to think about one’s personal situation. How is it possible to think about one’s spiritual and normal physical existence, at a time when you worry about how to save one’s life from annihilation... yes everyone is experiencing this. And during this week, on Sunday and Tuesday when Mr. Avraham Weitz was here, he called to me, "And what? Even now you are thinking about [going to] the Land of Israel?”…

The matter is very hard to think about, and I experience a terrible anguish, so terrible, thinking man and the aspirations lingering on the lips of most – above...

In the middle of my writing, a very strong, continuous rain fell, with thunder and lightning, and I entered the house from the corridor and our house cat which was outside quickly entered the corridor because of the rain and his legs were muddy and dirtied [59] these two pages and these are the stains. –^[50]

I am currently not in a normal state of mind. I have some more to write of my innermost thoughts, it seems to me, but I'm going to stop writing now. Perhaps later I will return to write.

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Notes

[48a] [Translator’s note:] This would have been about 9:30 am in our way of reckoning time. Jewish time keeping divided daylight and nighttime each into 12 equal parts (called hours). Their hours varied in length seasonally as a result of daylight getting longer or shorter. The third hour would have been the third hour after daybreak (3 x 1/12th of the daylight), sometime mid-morning. For example, Kyiv currently gets about 14.5 hours of daylight in early August, meaning each hour would be equal to 1.2 of our fixed hours (i.e., 14/12). Sunrise would have been around 5:30am. The end of the third hour would have been 5:30 am + 3.6 of our fixed hours (3x1.2)= circa 9:10 am in our way of reckoning time. [HS] ↩

[49] Riba (Devora-Rivkah, 1889-1942) was the sister of Yitzhak Lamdan (the second daughter), born in 5649 (1889), self-taught who mastered several languages according to her son. Mutil (Mordechai Litvak) her husband was a Zionist go-getter and active in Jewish aid organizations. Until their journey, they dwelled in the right wing of Lamdan's parents home. See Yosef Litvak, "The Litvak Home" in the Mlynov-Mervits Memorial Book, pp. 413-414 [original, English translation 376-377, Moshe Tamari, "In the Presence of Yitzhak Lamdan in Mlynov," Gilyanot 31:12, [English translation in Mlynov-Mervits Memorial Book, pp. 28-33]. The purpose of the journey is not indicated in the diary, but a year after that (26 Elul 5675 [1915]) he wrote that Riba and two sisters, Hansa (Hannah) (1892-1942) and Malcah (died in 1980) lived in the town of Baranivka, in the district of Zhytomyr, about 70 km west of Zhytomyr and two hundred km east of Mlynov. [Translator’s comment]: In the essay by their son, “The Litvak Home,” cited above, there is no mention of Riba and Mutil living in the right wing of the Lamdan house. According to that essay, they didn’t settle in Mlynov until 1922 after the civil war. That essay suggests this might have just been a short visit to the Lamdan home. [HS] ↩

[49a] [Translator’s comment]: Lamdan is expressing the irony that everyone is now in the situation in which he previously found only himself. In earlies entries, he expressed the sense that he didn’t know which world he belonged in, “exile” or the Land of Israel. Now given the circumstances of War, everyone has the same experience of feeling dislocation. [HS] ↩

[50] In this notebook on the back folds of pages 58-59 are light stains of mud. ↩

[August 5, 1914] Wednesday, 13th of Menahem Av, 5674, Mlynov

I am writing my present entry after the 3rd hour,^[48a] following the departure of [my sister] Ribah and [her husband] Mutil^[49] (who arrived yesterday in the evening) and their nice likeable toddler. The separation was so very difficult, the heart was so grief-stricken and [there was] crying, the eyes tearing non-stop… sobbing choking the throat, hard, so very hard was the separation, we parted and who knows if we will see each other again?!... We hugged one another and prayed that the Lord would enable us to see and enjoy each other again. Woe, how much we all cried! They left [57] and fear from the commotion of the war grew. Military men are already about to come here during this time in Mlynov and everyone trembles and shakes and across the faces of everyone are traces of sadness. And at this time, my sister rode away, and the separation is hard, exceedingly hard. A heavy stone presses still on my heart, what unrest rules all my limbs, what deep sadness picks inside my soul, and this is, I realize, the situation of everyone.

Apart from this, terrible confusion in general governs everyone about the events that recently transpired; everyone is lost in their innermost thoughts, and nothing is clear, no one knows now in which world he lives.^[49a] And indeed the situation has become extremely difficult. Germany already declared war against Russia, and the War has already broken out. What is known about the war between Austria, Serbia and Russia–we know nothing, because the newspapers are not being received from Warsaw or from other cities, but it appears from Russia’s frequent and terrified preparations [58] the situation there is also not at all encouraging.

Over everything, in my life too, terrible confusion rules. I can't think now about my situation – because how is it possible, at this time, to think about one’s personal situation. How is it possible to think about one’s normal spiritual and physical existence, at a time when you worry about how to save one’s life from annihilation... yes everyone is experiencing this. And during this week, on Sunday and Tuesday when Mr. Avraham Weitz was here, he called to me, "And what? Even now you are thinking about [going to] the Land of Israel?”… The matter is very hard to think about, and I have a terrible anguish, so very terrible bringing thoughts of man and his hopes remaining on the lips of most – above...

In the middle of my writing, a very strong, continuous rain fell, with thunder and lightning, and I entered the house from the corridor and because of the rain our house cat which was outside quickly entered the corridor his legs were dirty with slime [59] (note to self automated translation said licked) that dirtied these two pages and these are the stains. –^[50]

I am currently not in a normal state of mind. I have a bit more to write of my innermost thoughts, it seems to me, but in the meantime, I'm going to stop writing. Perhaps later I will return to write.

Read the interpretive summary or return to the top of the page.

Notes

[1] [Translator’s comment:] This would have been about 9:30 am in our way of reckoning time. Jewish time keeping divided daylight and nighttime each into 12 equal parts (called hours). Their hours varied in length seasonally as a result of daylight getting longer or shorter. The third hour would have been the third hour after daybreak (3 x 1/12th of the daylight), sometime mid-morning. For example, Kyiv currently gets about 14.5 hours of daylight in early August, meaning each hour would be equal to 1.2 of our fixed hours (i.e., 14/12). Sunrise would have been around 5:30am. The end of the third hour would have been 5:30 am + 3.6 of our fixed hours (3x1.2)= circa 9:10 am in our way of reckoning time. [HS] ↩

[49] Riba (Devora-Rivkah, 1889-1942) was the sister of Yitzhak Lamdan (the second daughter), born in 5649 (1889), self-taught who mastered several languages according to her son. Mutil (Mordechai Litvak) her husband was a Zionist go-getter and active in Jewish aid organizations. Until their journey, they dwelled in the right wing of Lamdan's parents home. See Yosef Litvak, "The Litvak Home" in the Mlynov-Mervits Memorial Book, pp. 413-414 [original, English translation 376-377, Moshe Tamari, "In the Presence of Yitzhak Lamdan in Mlynov," Gilyanot 31:12, [English translation in Mlynov-Mervits Memorial Book, pp. 28-33]. The purpose of the journey is not indicated in the diary, but a year after that (26 Elul 5675 [1915]) he wrote that Riba and two sisters, Hansa (Hannah) (1892-1942) and Malcah (died in 1980) lived in the town of Baranivka, in the district of Zhytomyr, about 70 km west of Zhytomyr and two hundred km east of Mlynov. [Translator’s comment]: In the essay by Riba and Mutil’s son, “The Litvak Home,” cited above, there is no mention of Riba and Mutil living in the right wing of the Lamdan house. According to that essay, they didn’t settle in Mlynov until 1922 after the civil war. That essay suggests this might have just been a short visit to the Lamdan home. [HS] ↩

[49a] [Translator’s comment]: Lamdan is expressing the irony that everyone is now in the situation in which he previously found only himself. In earlier entries (see July 29th), he expressed the sense that he didn’t know in which world he was living, “exile” or the Land of Israel. Now given the circumstances of War, everyone has the same experience of feeling dislocation. [HS] ↩

[50] In this notebook on the back folds of pages 58-59 are light stains of mud. ↩

[August 8, 1914] Sunday evening, 16th of Menachem Av, 5674, Mlynov

During the past few days, when I didn't write in my “daily” [diary] – I may have had something to write, but I didn't write for several reasons, these days were very hard. And especially today, when I got up in the morning, they announced that many military men would enter the town.*)

Well then, the War has broken out! Austria already declared war on Russia [on August 6th], and the war has already begun. Tumult and panic are all around. From nearby towns, foreigners are fleeing and many are coming ( printed page 29) to us in Mlynov. What pains the heart like glancing at the wagons entering the town [60] with various belongings bound up and resting on them, and [when seeing] the women and their infants.^[51]

Many military personnel entered the town today, and what great fear fell on everyone when they entered. The traffic was very intense. Officers constantly galloped this way and that on their horses. New military units arrive all the time. Canons passed by which invoked fear in those who saw them... and amidst all the noise military automobiles moved noisly about and benzene smoke spread, all of this blended into an awful terrifying harmony,

[the page wasn’t finished, it’s continuation with the paragraphs that follow.]

spreading fear into the heart of everyone. The situation has indeed become difficult. What is possible for us and everyone to do in a situation like this? Where is it possible to flee? How is it possible to leave everything here? In this very hour, when I was writing my entry, I received a telegram from [my sister] Heni (Genya)^[52] [who was living in another town] "because there everything was all right and we should all come to her"…

[61] I wanted to write more but the hour is a bit late, and [I] need to eat dinner.

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Notes

[51] Due to a suspicion of disloyalty, entire communities of Jews were expelled from the area near the battle front in Galicia, from the region of Radom, Lomza, and Lublin and additional battlefront areas. Due to a lack of trains, thousands of families wandered about on wagons harnessed to horses or by foot. See Simon Dubnow, World History of the Jewish People. Vol. 10. (Trans. to Hebrew by Baruch Krau), published in Hebrew in Tel Aviv: Dvir, 5718 [1957-58], pp. 262-64. ↩

[52] Heni (alt. Henya or Genya, 1884–1961), eldest sister of Yitzhak Lamdan. The diary indicates that as of two years later (26 Cheshvan, 5677 [1916]), she was living in the town of Baranivka (Ukraine), in the district of Zhytomyr in northwest Ukraine, 70 km west of the town Zhytomyr, 200 km east of Mlynov. Considering the relative distance from Mlynov and the wartime actions, it is possible this was her address already when she wrote these lines in which she invited her family members to come to her. ↩

[August 16, 1914] Sunday 23 [actually the 24th]^[52a] of Menachem Av, near evening, 5674, Mlynov

This was a week I didn’t write anything. There were moments when I wanted to sit and write, but I had no desire to do so. Ha! How time flies during these short days! Before the chaos in the world and everything got thrown into confusion, during the time when the world was serene, I sat in the corner of my world and I spun a dream of the future for myself....(oy! )– Back then what internal joy or inner delight I sat down with to write in my "diary" all that was going on (printed page 30) in and around my world and more ..– but now, after the terrible tumult of war, everything is different for me in terms of the terrible and difficult change that is taking place in the whole world.

This is the fate of mortals. [62]

And what is the situation now? The War already broke out and encircled all of Europe and even beyond. All of Europe is fighting now. Indeed, [up until recently] there was still no heavy fighting taking place, but now, after the War has broken out, no one speaks about peace at all– certain that in the end that terrible War will come.

In our town, there are many soldiers. They are not doing anything bad to anyone, on the contrary, there are many decent men among them, the town prospers from them a lot, since their need for food and other needs are great.

In the field opposite the market next to the home of my uncle Yosef^[53] they dug a stronghold.^[54] In the meantime, everything by us in town, thank God, is peacefully in place, but who can ensure nothing bad will happen in the future, since the situation is not in good place at all and it can’t be otherwise since in the end a fierce fighting will break out near our borders. Where is it possible to flee from this fear?

[63] But in spite of all the terror and fear, everyone’s state of mind is less agitated than last week, because they are already acclimating to everything.

The situation takes various forms. There is a stage where everyone begins to tremble from fear, and terrible worry lives in the heart and the question about “fleeing” gnaws at the brain. And there are some whose hearts are beginning to hope and the fear passes. Take, for example, today. All day there was quiet, but within two hours when they brought four wounded soldiers– the fear returned. And this is the mood these days.^[55]

Look, I think it is superfluous to write about the news coming from the battlefield between Russia, Germany, and all the others ... as long as it isn’t impinging on our personal situation.

At the start of the last War’s eruption, hearing the complaints and sighs of the sick, especially of the Jews, and all the terrible commotion [64] that comes with war – arouses vigorous protest against this spilling of blood through war. During a moment of peace, it is not possible to know and recognize how necessary it is for human beings, but in our looking eye to eye at what is being done now, we well recognize the value of peace, and it is proven just how exalted and ideal the prophecy of the great prophet Isaiah, “Nation shall not lift up sword against nation nor make war anymore.”^[56]

Our great prophet! It has been a thousand years since you delivered this sublime prophecy of yours – and humankind has not yet put any effort into beginning its realization. For a thousand years! And how much has humanity progressed! How many cries of progress! Everything becomes more advanced, civilization grows, and only in this, in the warring of people, in the spilling of blood, it has not made any change for the better. On the contrary, civilization still creates and further improves the tools of destruction, making canons which have the power to mow down thousands of soldiers, etc., etc. [65] With all the human progress, and this?...

Hey you wretched civilization! What is your power? Where is your glory? I spit in your face! I mock you, the great men of civilization, the builders of culture! If the hatred of the Jews and your spilling of blood by attacking them continues – behold you are like nothing in my eyes, you and all your cultured ones. You are scum! –

Should we Jews hope that a day will come when we will realize the prophecy of our great prophet and when we Jews will generate world peace, that will go forth from the “Temple of Peace” in the Land of Israel? A wonderful dream....Is it not?

And one Hebrew writer already contemplated this- namely R Benjamin in his article the "Temple of Peace" in Hatoren [“The Mast”].^[57]

There is much, much more to write, but because the hour is late already and the darkness is growing, I will put off [66] the continuation of my writing to the nighttime hours.

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Notes

[52a] [Translator’s comment]: As the critical edition notes, Yitzhak appears to have made a mistake in his dating. Sunday, the day he was writing, was the 24th of Menachem Av / which was August 16th. Monday (Aug. 17th) was the 25th of Menachem Av. The mistake continues in the following entries. The mistake may reflect Yitzhak’s state of mind in the chaos of the War breaking out]. [HS] ↩

[53] The brother of Yehuda Leib, Yitzhak’s father. ↩

[54] A fortified position for the purposes of fighting. ↩

[55] Throughout the diary, the Hebrew expression, (מצב-הנפש) literally “situation of the soul” appears with the meaning like the (מצב-רוח) [“mood, temper, disposition”] expression today. ↩

[56] Isaiah 2:4. ↩

[57] R' Benjimin (Yehoshua Radler-Feldman) “Hechal Shalom” [Temple of Peace],” HaToren Year 1. Booklet 1, 5673 [Sept. 1912-Oct. 1913 ], pages 37-39). Hatoren – ‘for the science, literature and Zionism,’ a monthly published in New York between the years 5673 -5786 [1912-1926] and the publishers and editors changed frequently in efforts by the AhiEber (5673-5674) [1912-1914] and the Zionist Organization of America (5681) [1920-21] and the editors Yitzhak Dov Berkowitz and Shmaryahu Levin (5676-5680) [approximately 1915-1919]. ↩

[August 17, 1914^[57a]] Nighttime, Monday, 24th of [actually 25th]^[57b] Menachem Av, 5674, Mlynov

Yesterday near sunset, when I stopped my journal entry, I thought about continuing at night but various reasons prevented it. Also, today I didn't write because Ben-Tzion Gruber^[57c] came to visit me and stayed until almost evening. Now too I won't continue my writing (in other words, those things on my mind yesterday to write) because the hour is already late and I need to go to sleep. But I will write in this [entry] about the current situation. This evening everyone is full of worry. The atmosphere is saturated with the smell of blood. A scandal broke out between Lipa's Israel^[58] and a military man (the content of the scandal and its results are not yet known to me) and from the tumult that arose, fear fell on everyone, and they closed their stores and fled home. Lately, the shooting of canons can be heard [67] and everyone is scared and afraid and the situation is totally devoid of joy.

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Notes

[57a] [Translator’s comment]: The critical edition made a mistake and labelled this day August 16, when Monday is August 17th, the 25th of Menachem Av. [HS] ↩

[57b] [Translator’s comment]: See above note 52a [HS] ↩

[57c] On Ben-Tzion Gruber, see note 44 and the July 29th journal entry about their experience on the road from Mervits together. [HS] ↩

[58] One of the residents of Mlynov. Details about him are not known. [Translator’s comment]: Actually, he is probably referring to Israel Halperin, who was father of Lipa Halperin, who contributed essays to the Mlynov-Mervits Memorial Book after making aliyah in 1938. Israel Halperin was born in 1892. He married Rivka-Rachel Shrentsil. Israel was killed in the Mlynov liquidation in 1942 according to Yad Vashem Records. The Halperin family story from Mlynov is told on the Mlynov website. [HS] ↩

[August 18, 1914] Tuesday, 25th [actually the 26th]^[58a] Menachem Av, near evening, 5674 Mlynov

I sat down now in front of my “daily” [i.e., diary] and I don’t know where to begin. There is much to write, but where to begin, I don't know.. This sometimes happens frequently. The present general situation is complicated and it is impossible to write about it clearly, but it is difficult – in this there is no doubt, because truly until now there has so far not been a fierce battle between the waring parties, just small skirmishes, and it is known that the present quiet is the calm before the storm – and thus exceedingly bad, because what can one possibly do to escape the fear of the terrible sword? Where is it possible to flee? Is it possible to flee? Is it possible to leave everything here, all the belongings of the homeowners, and flee? Is it possible to take a dangerous step like this? And to take all the belongings from here? Where is it possible to get wagons? etc., etc., [page 68 is blank] [page 69 is blank] [70] In general, the situation is exceedingly hard, even though they have adjusted to it, and who knows what is hidden in the folds of the coming days?

And what is going on in my personal world? What is my personal situation? It is difficult to think now (and indeed I don't think much) about the "I"... at a time when the situation of the “general public” is so very terrible. How many broken hearts are there now in the world; anguished hearts of parents whose children have been taken to war; how many souls in pain are there, tormented souls of people forced to flee from the places of fighting and who lost everything? Here the present situation has not skipped anyone. And since the current situation continues to get more complicated since a "world war" is on the verge of breaking out – won’t the whole world become a desolate desert, and won’t that which human beings created with their souls and bodies over a thousand years – likely be annulled and destroyed from under the heavens? It is very terrible having a penetrating look into the heart of the future from the perspective of the current increasingly complicated situation. Thus according to all that’s been said about this, it is hard [71] to think about my personal situation, in other words: my spiritual situation, but in spite of this the orbit of my spiritual world doesn’t stop doing its work Obviously, I am not thinking about the Land of Israel now and indeed, is it not preposterous to think about such in a situation like this? But in the meantime, I haven’t yet parted from my idea of the Land of Israel…No! Still as before I secretly weave my dream about leaving the bitter exile [galut] and making aliyah to the Land of the ancestors. Yes, I still weave my dream without doubt even though who knows what the day will bring? Who knows if the flaming sword hovers over my head? … Aha! Who will tell how suddenly all at once a terrible tumult like this arose in the world?

Yes, I still weave my dream of the Land of Israel. My inner disgust with exile (galut) grew in me especially lately, in my being convinced, by several different facts, how loathsome and poor is the Jew in exile (galut) and how much exile corrupts and disfigures the Jew and make him into a symbol [72] of ridicule and ugliness. Together with this my opposition grows to the system of those "favoring exile” (galut). What future do they see for our people in this terrible exile (galut), even after various vigorous efforts on behalf of the people? Is it possible to build a solid foundation under our people’s feet in this terrible exile (galut)? Is it not a generation of eternal slaves, a Jewish generation that lives only for others, bitterness flows from their despicableness and [the people] stands in its contemptibility; one who plants fields of others and doesn’t benefit from its fruit, in short: in exile (galut) it is possible to raise only generations of slaves, and for all its cultural qualities it will remain in the eyes of the people like a dancing monkey fulfilling the desires of those who watch… No! Exile (galut) – for us is only a lengthy torture without end, and sometimes death is much better than that...

Perhaps the intentions of those favoring the exile (galut) are pure [73] and the good of the people they seek, but in their extreme method and their opposition to the work of renewal – they delay the redemption of our people. Exile (galut) begone! With all our strength and all our ability we must to try to ensure that the work of our national renewal marches forward faster and with more certainty. Open our eyes and realize that our national existence depends strictly [on being] there in Zion. There in the Land [of Israel] of the past and future we are able to gather our strength and live like all peoples, and no longer will our our many strengths be scattered on foreign fields. Only there are we able to revive our people, a complete renewal. And here, all the way that we try to continue and perfect the exile (galut) – the exile exacts a terrible revenge on us. Truly it is impossible and forbidden to resist work in exile (galut), a place where all our people are still stuck, but the work needs to be targeted not as work for the generations but for the present. The work in exile (galut) is for the present and under no circumstances for the [74] future …

Yes, my inner revulsion grows towards the exile (galut) and its effects. My resistance to the system of those promoting exile (galut) and because of this it is possible (if only the present situation permits…) that I write “fragmented-thoughts” about the rejection of exile and its mandate.

When I am reminded of which contents filled my writings of days past, and the content that fills my writings now – what silent sorrow penetrates my heart. One subject occupied me in my earlier writings: my idea of the Land of Israel and all that was happening to me related to this idea, and also all that was going on in my spiritual world, and now devastation arrives and overturns it all.

Thus is human fate and its hopes!

Precious to me is my “daily” [i.e, diary] which includes all my innermost feelings and is an echo of everything that is happening in my world – but in one respect, my “daily” doesn’t and can’t fulfill [75] its purpose. And this is the reason: that this “daily” occasionally comes into the hands of others and they read some of it, and this “matter” is something that I don’t want to be read by anyone else except me (generally I don’t want them to read my other entries too, because it is better that my thoughts and feelings remain hidden from the eyes of others like in the inner heart …) What a shame! In as much as I so want this matter, that continues to develop from earlier, to find a faithful echo on the pages of my “daily” as well as the changes and transformations which it brings to my innermost being…But if the Lord favors me and all of us for life, I think that in the coming days (if only they may be good for us) I will start developing this “concern” in my “daily.” Because it is important that this matter is written, which is close to my heart.

And here I am full of determination, that if this matter is not able until now to find an echo in my “daily,” look in my poems for this, they will find the faithful blood…. –^[59]

Because of the late hour and the deepening darkness, I will stop my writing.

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Notes

[58a] See above note [52a] above. ↩

[59] He is expressing love about someone. In his poems from this period, he chose not to reveal personal details. These poems have not survived. ↩

[August 19, 1914] Wednesday, 26th [actually the 27th]^[59a] of Menahem Av, 5674, noon, Mlynov

I am sitting now writing my words at the table in the house, and it is quiet all around. Everyone is quiet, the clock is ticking, and some sad harmony enters (everything aligns with the spirit of the situation...) the silence. Everyone is quiet. A cloud of heavy grief and sadness is spread over everyone. The situation here is exceedingly difficult from every direction. Today in the early morning hours, the military men who were staying here the entire time, left for the War campaign.

Yesterday towards evening, Jewish soldiers from Kiev spent time with us. They visited our home every day to drink tea and eat. They [previously] told us that their battalion [“Ruta” ]^[60] would remain here and not go there [to the battle]... and a great deal of hope was invested in their words... and when they finished their meal at night, they directed Mother^[61] to fix them a meal for the next day (in other words: today) because without a doubt they wouldn't be leaving here. [77] Several moments after leaving our house, they reentered and their faces were white as lime, and they were quaking in their boots, and in trembling and disjointed language, they indicated that they were met outside and told that they were leaving and should prepare because during the third hour of the night,^[61a] they would leave here and go there. It is difficult for me to describe the depressing impression their words made on all of us, tears filled our eyes. In a terrible situation like this, they of course left our house immediately with weak knees and a disjointed departure, half of them in tears. Yikes! How terrible are these moments, how my heart aches for them. They left here for the war theatre, towards a terrible death, far from their parents, wife and all their family members melting away^[62] in pain and sorrow without end. Alas, how terrible is this. How my heart begins to ache remembering that all these beloved Jews that we got to know us during this time (and in general all people, human beings whose mortal blood flows in his arteries) who leave now [78] towards the sword... Alas, how many hearts are breaking to pieces! How many eyes already weakened from crying! How many lives expiring from pain. And everything for what and for whom? For a conflict among governments, for a conflict among rulers, to spill the blood from tens of thousands of people who are innocent of wrongdoing. Heavens above!

And where is culture? Where is civilization? Where is the man of progress? Human development¬–where is it? Where are you? – But is your reality not thrown in doubt!...

The situation is terrible, exceedingly terrible, men leave to fight with brothers, fellow human beings like them, against their will, blood touches blood... blood cries out^[62a] about the terrible injustice taking place now under the sun: Where is integrity? The entire world is on the verge now of being destroyed on behalf of a conflict between rulers. And those same cruel rulers [79] now deciding to slaughter tens of thousands of people and they sit in their palaces and live lives of leisure – they will also be given the land!

Rise up God, how long will you be silent?!– – –^[63]

A cloud of grief is spread over everything, the fear is very great, the worry increases, and the question of fleeing bores into the mind with full force. Heartbreak and aching hearts are saturated by sorrow of the personal situation and by sorrow of the general situation.

The difficulty and dreadfulness of the situation cannot be measured; the situation gets more complicated and its end – who can guess? – –

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Notes

[59a] See above note 52a. ↩

[60] Russian for a battalion. ↩

[61] Chaya Liba Lamdan, Yitzhak's mother. ↩

[61a] On the concept of “hours of the night,” see explanation in footnote [48a]. In 2025, for example, nighttime began at 9:47 and sunrise was at 6:09 am. So there were 8 hours and 22 minutes of nighttime. Divide that into twelve parts and there are 41.8 minutes per hour. So the third hour would have begun at approximately 11:26 pm on our way of tracking time: (9:47 pm + 83.6 min [i.e., 2 hours complete x 41.8 min/per their hours) min]= 11:26 pm]. ↩

[62] The Hebrew (mitgogigim) here with the meaning of fading and ending in sorrow following Psalms 107:26: “Mounting up to the heaven, plunging down to the depths, their courage melted away (titmogag) in their misery. [Translator: Psalm 107:26 describes the tumultuous experience of those at sea during a storm]. ↩

[62a] [Translator’s comment] An apparent allusion here to the story of Cain and Abel when God says to Cain, “Your brother’s blood cries out to Me from the ground!” Genesis 4:10. [HS] ↩

[63] In accordance with Habakuk 1:2: “How Long, O Eternal One, shall I cry out And You not listen? … and 1:13: “Why do you countenance treachery, And stand by idle While the one in the wrong devours The one in the right?. And Psalm 82:2 “How long will you just perversely, showing favor to the wicked?” and Psalm 82:8 “Arise, O God, judge the earth, for all the nations are Your possession. [Translator’s comment:] The expression “Rise, O God (or Rise O Lord) occurs in several other places in the Hebrew Bible as well: Psalms 3:8, 74:22, II Chronicles 6:41.[HS] ↩

[August 23, 1914] Sunday, 2nd day of the New Month (Rosh Chodesh) Elul [1st of Elul],^[63a] 5674 Mlynov

What is the situation? During this time, they expected^[64] heavy fighting to break out along our border, but it is not yet known whether it has erupted or not. Here in town, it seems to me, everyone is behaving normally. Until today, no new soldier camps have entered and only now have many wagons come carrying provisions to the border and many soldiers with them. [80] Surely the War is already at full strength,^[65] and of course, it is still impossible at the moment to clarify whether the situation is worse or the opposite. If the Russian military penetrates Austria and moves forward to conquer there – the danger is reduced here, but if the Russian army is turned backward – the situation will be so terrible because in this way our entire surroundings would be turned into a battlefield. Of course, we are praying for the first scenario, but how difficult it is to pray for this because so many Jewish brethren, who live outside the Land of Israel, will be injured and die at the hands of local military men, because they say that Cossacks^[65a] destroyed property and lives especially those of Jews when entering [the city of ] Brody.^[66] Even without this, is it not the case that they will have to take their wandering staff in hand and, lacking everything else, wander without knowing where.

Truly, the house of Israel is like a “pitcher” – it’s all same whether the rock falls in the pitcher and it breaks or the pitcher falls [81] on the rock... We are wretched! Israel is a scattered flock.^[66a] Galut!! [Exile] Galut!! [Exile] How long will you abuse us?

Yes. Exile (galut) is difficult and many tragedies are being created and I will write a bit about one of them from the recent past:

When the Russians began to mobilize its army and call up its reserves – the number of Jews increased [in the military] first because they called for reserves from [those] 23 years of age, and second, because all the borders quickly closed down and people didn’t have sufficient time to flee to other places, and in this way the number of Jews in the Russian army became exceedingly large.^[66b]

In many places, Jewish manifestos were prepared in support of the Russian army victory and expressing feelings of faith in the government.

Likewise, there are Jewish volunteers in the Russian army. All of these things converged, and the Jewish deputy [i.e., member of parliament]^[67] Friedman^[68] [82] spoke in the Duma, in their “historical seating” [of the Duma], related to the patriotism of the vast number of Jews to Russia, and so many Jews going to sacrifice their lives for Russia. And further...

The government, finding itself in a terrible war situation like this, desires now, of course, that peace and calm will prevail between the peoples dwelling on its land, and therefore it also expressed sympathy to the Jews. They stuck up notices in every location so they would not insult another people, and also made several concessions to the Jews: [Russia] cancelled the law related merchants’ shares;^[68a] permitted families of reservists to live outside the boundary [of the Pale, the area to which Jews were generally restricted so they could be closer to family members who were mobilized], and ended the deportations. Etc. Of course, they promised us a great deal, a lot !.. Any smart person can discern that all of these things just mentioned are only for the duration of the War…

Here comes Novi Voshkod^[69] with the article “Signs of the Times”* in which he speaks about the tremendous loyalty and love of the Jews [83] towards this their homeland (?),^[69a] and he speaks about the new spirit that is passing over the camps on the Right, a spirit that prophecies a bright future for the People of Israel in Russia.

And it is impossible to know if the writer of the article is so naïve or is brain dead. It is difficult to clarify this, but there is servile obsequiousness here – of this there is no doubt.

*[Yitzhak added a footnote]: I read his quotes in [the newspaper] HaZeman in the section “In Our Newspapers”

Look how important thoughtful men go astray with temporary blindness. “Their eyes are blocked from seeing”!

Much is hoped for [since] the writer, Vladimir Mitrofanovich Purishkevich,^[70], the scoundrel, hasn't already sent letters to the editorial staff of the Jewish newspapers with coarse words of contempt and poisonous hate towards the Jewish people, with words like: to kill, to wipe out the Jewish people. This cursed Purishkevich, wears a mask of sympathy now in this time of emergency; he becomes suddenly our friend, and becomes angry at “the Blacks” [the reactionary group the Black Hundreds]^[71] [84] who still haven’t stopped slinging “their mud” at the Jews. Much is hoped for from [Vladimir] Golubev, the Kiev student,^[72] this cursed one, who was the leading hero in the [1913 blood libel accusation] “the Beilis Affair,” who excelled more than once in pogroms against the Jews – he too has now become “our friend” – and from all the enthusiasm in this humanistic moment of Jews in Kiev, he embraces the rabbi on behalf of --- all of them, all of them, are now preaching the brotherhood of all peoples in Russia and promise “mountains of gold.”

The author of the article builds on this foundation a complete hope here for the people Israel ..– and additionally, there are men who are [will be?] “struck by temporary blindness” just like^[72a] ... yes, yes. But why do they speak and write? A little patience my friends! Wait until the war ends, please let our accursed haters remove the veils from their faces, – and see what becomes of your hope? Naïve ones! Can a black person (kushi) change the color of his skin or a tiger its stripes? On the other hand, do these “progrom instigators,” and “blood suckers,” each and every one of them [85] want our well-being? They only abuse us! For what is this servile flattery? Why should we corrupt our form more than it is now?

“Remember, O LORD, what has befallen us; Behold, and see our disgrace!”^[73] [Lamentations 5:1] Pay attention to your hearts, you men who go blinded and reconcile their souls with vanity! Remember, the roots of their hatred towards us run deep and still continue to grow and deepen. Don’t squander away your strength for nothing! Begone the flattery of exile. Dedicate your strength to the movement for renewal in Israel and don’t sow thorns – because your seed will not product fruit. There is a lot, much more for me to write about the sad sight of this tragedy, but the pain is too great, heart wracking, but it is difficult to be conscious of all my thoughts on this matter, here in the pages of my “daily” [diary].

We already said the blessing for the new month of Elul! The first tekiah [blast of the ram’s horn] was already heard (84) [should be page 86]!^[74] The summer has almost faded! And with it, alas, how many dreams faded and disappeared…they already blessed [the new month] of Elul, the summer has passed and with it my current “daily” [diary] is getting completed, which is the 4th part.

Will my present “daily” [diary], the bearer of my dreams, be favored with entries that are written in the Land of Israel?... Will it be worthy to guard an echo of my heartbeat, quenched from the sun’s radiance of ancestors’ land?

That’s what I wrote in the introduction to the present part of my “daily” [dairy]. Alas, how much I hoped and dreamed! And now?

I am anxious about the various barriers that will arise in my way. I am very afraid of the stony obstacles in my way, but a commotion like this I didn’t expect at all.

Look, for thus is the fate of humanity. [87]

How much I already long for a time of peace! How terrible are the rumors about the War and the spilling of blood; how difficult it is to hear about all this! I so very much long for a period of quiet and calm, where everyone returns to his place in peace, and among all those saved, I too [return] to my corner of my world, to my dreams and hopes, and that also now I haven’t lost, God forbid, though very many have been lost via the recent events…

Perhaps I would write a bit more but it is twilight and the darkness is advancing and I am stopping my writing.

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Notes

[63a] [Translator’s comment:] Hebrew months that are 30 days long have two days recognized as “Head of the Month” (the last day of the previous month and the first day of the new month). The reason for this odd observance is disputed in traditional sources. The Hebrew months follow the lunar cycle and begin with a new moon. Since a lunar month is 29.5 days, months in the Jewish calendar alternate between 29 days and 30 days long during the year. When a month is 29 days long, the 30th day is considered the 1st of the new month. When a month is 30 days long, the thirtieth day is still considered the first day of the next month as well as the next day which is the actual first day of the new month. In this way, months with thirty days have two days of the new month. The practice may go back to a period when the verified sighting of the new moon was not immediate and the 30th was always treated as “the new month start” just in case it was. [HS] ↩

[64] Apparently here [the term “kivu” qyww] carries the meaning that they thought or guessed it would happen (not that they wanted it to happen). [Translator’s comment]: the Hebrew term kivu (qyww) normally means “they hoped” and so the first reading seems to be “they hoped that the heavy fighting would break out…” but that translation doesn’t fit with Yitzhak’s expressed feelings about the war. [HS] ↩

[65] Lamdan did not yet know about the first battle, The Battle of Galicia, which broke out between Russia and Austria this very day, the 23rd of August 1914 in Kraśnik, 30 km south of Lublin, 200 km west of Mlynov. These battles ended in the beginning of September with the rout of the Austrian army and the capture of Lemberg (Lwow) by the Russians. See Nicholas Golovin, “The Great Battle of Galicia, 1914: A Study in Strategy," Slavonic Review, Vol. 5, no. 13 (June 1926), pp 25-47. ↩

[65a] [Translator’s comment]: By Cossacks, Yitzhak is apparently referring to East Slavic and Eastern Orthodox people who were a "martial estate" in Russian society. Yitzhak is using the term, “Cossack,” to describe one of the contemporary fighting forces. Brody was part of Austria-Hungary and just across the border from Russia. Two weeks after the outbreak of World War I, on the 14th of August, 1914, the Russian forces took Brody. According to the Brody Memorial Book: “Two weeks after the outbreak of World War I, on the 14th of August, 1914, the Russian forces took Brody. Upon entering the city, the Cossacks began to run wild, looting and plundering Jewish possessions, and there were many instances of women raped. A libel was circulated that the daughter of the owner of the Hotel Harash shot a Cossack. On this pretext the daughter was murdered and the Cossacks set fire to the Jewish Quarter. Many homes went up in smoke and the large synagogue was severely damaged. Almost all the Jews of substance left the city, and only the poor remained. See the Brody Memorial Book. [HS] ↩

[66] The town Brody in Ukraine, in the vicinity of Lwow in Ukraine, 80 km/[~49 miles] southwest of Mlynov. [Simon] Dubnow describes these pogroms against Jews in various areas with the retreat of the Russian military from Galicia a year after this in August 1915. See Dubnow, World History of the Jewish People. ibid. p 264. ↩

[66a] [Translator’s comment]: Jeremiah 50:17. The whole verse reads: “Israel are scattered sheep, harried by lions. First the king of Assyria devoured them, and in the end King Nebuchadrezzar of Babylon crunched their bones.” [HS] ↩

[66b] Yitzhak seems to be implying that many Jews would have fled Russia had they had the chance and thus avoided the mobilization and military duty. ↩

[67] Deputat: Russian and Yiddish word for “a member of the house of representatives” (the Duma, the parliament of Russia), the source is Latin (deputatas). ↩

[68] A Jewish lawyer, Naphtali Friedman (1863-1921), resident of the Lithuanian town of Ponevezh, served as representative politico for the Jews in the Russian Parliament for two terms. In the third Duma (1907-1912) and the fourth (1912-1917). See Rueven Rubenstein, “Kovno,” Mahanaim, 102 (5729 [1968]), pp. 123-28. ↩

[68a] [Translator’s comment:] Yitzhak may be referring to one of the various restrictions, limitations, or discriminatory practices that Jewish merchants faced in Russia. [HS] ↩

[69] A shorted form of the [newspaper name] “Novyy Voskhod” (Russian новый восход, in other words “New Dawn”), a Jewish newspaper in the Russian language, edited by M. Vinabar, Micael Sheptal, Lev Sternberg, and others. The newspaper was published between 1910-1915 in Saint Petersburg, with the pretension to continue the successful tradition of the weekly Voskhod (HaShachar [Dawn] 1881-1906) that spoke to the Russian intelligentsia, and among the writers there was the author Isaiah Bershadsky and the historian Shimon Dubnow. The “Novyy Voskhod” was considered the mouthpiece for the representatives of the Russian intelligentsia that was called “Grupistim,” those who saw the future of the Jews in the integration in Russia. They worked for equality before the law through Parliamentary efforts and not revolutionary ones. See Yehuda Slatsky, The Jewish Russian Newspapers in the 20th Century (1900-1918). University of Tel Aviv (5738 [1977-78]), p. 333. ↩

[69a] [Translator’s comment] The question mark in the text seems to imply that Yitzhak was noting his disagreement with the notion that Russia was their homeland. He obviously thought the Land of Israel was the Jewish homeland. [HS] ↩

[70] Vladimir Mitrofanovich Purishkevich (1870-1920) leader of the "Union of the Russian People" and the “Union of the Archangel,” delegate of the Duma (Parliament) from the 2nd-4th Duma, belonged to the extreme right circles and known for his hate of Jews. See Matityahu Mints, "Lenin's Hidden Formula on the Jewish Question and Its Presence in Soviet-Jewish Discourse," [Heb.] Studies in the Rebirth of Israel, 16 (2006) p. 535, note 4. Two years after that, in 1916, he participated in the assassination of the mystic monk, Grigori Rasputin, who was a secret advisor of the Tsar and his wife. ↩

[71] “Blacks” [Black Hundreds] nickname for the reactionary forces against the socialist revolution who tried to guard the old centers of power of the Tsar’s government with a protest against the October Manifesto (in Russian: Октябрьский Манифест) by Tsar Nicholas II. In the wake of the 1905 Revolution, the Tsar was required to liberalize while the reactionaries sought to harm the position of the Jews. They were joined by Black [Hundred] soldiers from the Russian-Japan War who accused the Jews of active participation with the enemy and with the Russian defeat in War. Together they established groups called "the Black Hundreds" (or the Black Hundred in Russia Чёрная сотня) based on the number of their members - all together they were a hundred members. These groups arranged pogroms in fifty Jewish towns, in which hundreds of Jews were killed. See Walter Laquer, Black Hundred: The Rise of the Extreme Right in Russia. New York: Perennial, 1994. ↩

[72] Vladimir Golubev, among the instigators of the “Bellis Affair,” the famous blood libel case in which Mendel Beilis was accused in 1911 of murdering a twelve-year-old Russian youth and using his blood in baking matzah. Golubev was one of the leaders of the "Black Hundreds" organization and well connected with the clerks in the Tsar’s government. See Shmuel Ben-Asher, “The Beilis Affair,” Mahanayim, 111 (Tishrei-Cheshvan 5727 1966) 132-147. ↩

[72a] [Translator’s comment:] A reference to the biblical story of Lot and the angels who blind the men who are trying to break into Lot’s home to rape his guests. Genesis 19:11. [HS] ↩

[73] In accordance with Lamentations 5:1 “Remember, O LORD, what has befallen us; Behold, and see our disgrace!” ↩

[74] Birkat Hachodesh [The Blessing of the Month] – on the last Sabbath before Rosh Chodesh (the First of the Month) it is customary to announce [i.e. the new month] in the synagogue before the Musaf prayer service that week and to bless the month in a version designated for that. The first tekiah (blast of the shofar) – in various congregations it is customary to sound the tekiah from the shofar during the days of month Elul, after the Shacharit [morning] prayers in preparation for the Day of Judgement [Yom Kippur] that is in the New Year (Rosh Hashanah) and the Ten Days of Repentance that follows. ↩

[August 26, 1914] Wednesday, 4th of Elul, 5674, Mlynov

I'm approaching my present writing reluctantly due to a lack of material for this entry. It is impossible for me to write now about the general situation.^[74a] There is a great deal of confusion, a lot of commotion. It is impossible to extract something definitive from all this.

[88] It is possible for me to write only because the situation has gotten very complicated and deteriorated, and it is not possible to find signs that it will improve soon.

And in my world, I? –

Ha! How my heart aches seeing the terrible upheaval that instigated the recent tumult in my world. I will not speak in this [entry] about the near or distant future, but “the present” meanwhile is so exceedingly terrible and bitter.

Spread the wings of my dreams which before the recent events soared high like a bird in the skies of my imagination, yes, spread the wings of my dreams. I do not know if they will soon get stronger or not, but meanwhile spread them wide, wide – – –

Vast is the destruction that this taking place now in my world, my heart ache is great, when I look at it. Back then, before the recent events, in spite of the many obstacles that I saw in my imagination, nonetheless my idea [of aliyah] was so very close [89] to being realized, I fostered the hope, despite the mental blocks and stony-obstacles, I was full of guts and confidence but now, everything has changed from one end to the other. The frightening abyss grew wider between me and the region of my freedom. The East that was so close to me–suddenly so far away!... a terrible upheaval is burgeoning in my world. Its destruction is not trivial. Will I soon rise and rebuild from my destruction?...

Today, my longings intensified for the Land of Israel. It’s been weeks (to me they seemed like many years) since the day my pipe dreams [literally tune of my dreams] ended for the land of my longing; the current events ended it. The terrible tumult also silenced the strong longings that bubbled inside my heart, but today awakened them anew. The same strong longings awakened for the land that inspires [lifts up] my dreams. I added a great deal to my knowledge lately, about the bitterness of (exile) which has no end [90] of terrible pranks with which it abuses us. Yikes, how much the longings for the land of the ancestors attack me!

“My heart is in the East and I – am in the end in the West” [Judah Halevi]^[74b]

The words from our ancient poet, the first Zionist, pour out from all my limbs.

Many feelings still bubble up now in my heart, my heart is overflowing its banks full of love for my people and my land, and with this it hurts about the destructive exile (galut) that deforms my people, and abuses it relentlessly, but I will not continue my writing now. It is now twilight, the darkness is spreading, and I am stopping my writing.

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Notes

[74a] [Translator’s comment:] It is possible Yitzhak was afraid of Russian censorship and didn’t want to comment on the general situation. On July 20, 1914 Russia implemented a law called “ On July 20, 1914, the law "Provisional regulations on military censorship" was published. The law established military censorship committees focused particularly on the front lines but also provided control over newspaper articles, telegrams, and private letters, especially from the front. See for example Smith, J. T. (2001). “Russian military censorship during the First World War.” Revolutionary Russia, 14 (1), 71–95. [HS] ↩

[74b] [Translator’s comment:] Judah HaLevi (1075-1141) was a Sephardic Jewish poet, physician and philosopher. He is considered one of the greatest Hebrew poets and remembered for his secular and religious poems. Yitzhak is quoting from one of his most famous poems, “My Heart is in the East,” which expresses the tension he feels between life in Spain and his spiritual connection to Zion. Yitzhak has quoted this poem before on July 16 see footnote 22 in the online. [HS] ↩

[August 31, 1914] Monday 9th of Elul 5674, Mlynov

Five days have passed since I wrote in the “daily” [diary] and now I am tackling this entry. Now I have to write only about “the situation” and its quality and everything that is happening around it. [91] I won’t write about the general situation and mood during the past days in which I didn’t write in the “daily” [diary]. Due to a lack of memory, I’ll [instead] write only about the situation yesterday and today.

My emotional state since yesterday is exceedingly difficult. Russia penetrated Austria, and along every road where they found no resisting force, they proceeded to penetrate with no fear. But suddenly by some place a rain of terrible fire began to pour down on them, and many, many men were slain and wounded in their approaching there, and thus, since yesterday they have been bringing many wounded here.^[74c]

To look at this vision is so very hard: men who recently were healthy and whole, who recently had the shining fire of life in their eyes, and now they are lying wounded, some fatally and some not, and some of them thrown into the ground after being slain on the battlefield. It is difficult to hear [92] stories of the terribly wounded, it is difficult to hear their moans from the intense pain of their wounds. And great is the pain realizing the how many more orphans there will be now, and how many bereaved parents, and how many widows (ʾalmānût) and wretchedness (ʾūmlālût)! – – –

Lord of the World! This blood that spills like water, for what? Is it indeed impossible for the world to exist without this terrible spilling of blood?!

The feeling of strong protest wells up in your heart against the wars of nations. Against the terrible spilling of blood. And you despise humanity’s progress, culture and its creations, despise her now when you see the spilling blood in full force; on the contrary, it continues to grow through tools of modern destruction that are produced by the culture.

How great is your sorrow, and how terrible your pain, and in your realizing that everything that happened so far is only the introduction [93] to what will be done in the future. Considering the situation that is getting increasingly complicated and will soon break into a “World War,” how many rivers of blood will spill then and how many bystanders are expected to face ruin, starvation, or death.

At a time like this, during a situation like this, it is already impossible to glance at what is going on in your personal world; it is impossible to look at it, at our destruction, because it is one, in a situation like this it is impossible to fix the cracks appearing in it…

It is also impossible to be partially engrossed in everything sprouting forth from the soil of the heart, to nurture it and grow it properly… It is impossible now to do so in this situation and at this time, and therefore, everything is neglected in my world and abandoned in my world, with no possibility of being protected, nurtured or grown – – –

And the sorrow is very great! The atmosphere is saturated with strong hate towards the Jews. All the Christians plow evil on you, and if it were in his ability [94] [the Christian] would put an end to your life in a second— There are many stories and tales that circulate among the boorish people about the Jews. For example: “The Jews sent to Austria a barrel full of gold covered by salted fish”^[74d]… and various other tales like these, and by these means the fire of hatred burns in the heart of boorish people against us, and all the air is saturated with poison, all of which must be tolerated; one must shut the mouth and be silent, bow the head before every blow and curse.

Because on whom pours the wrath of the Russian soldiers when they conquer some town if not the Jew! He is the lamb brought to slaughter in every place and every hour, and how many Jews already have been killed at the beginning of this War!

Keeping all this in mind, a terrible and strong protest wells up in you against exile (galut) and those who endorse it. And your heart aches, your soul hurts, and the pain is great! –

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Notes

[74c] [Translator’s comment:] The Battle of Galicia on the Eastern Front was a major period of engagement at the start of the War between Austria-Hungary and Russia from August 23rd – September 11th. Initially the Austro-Hungarian armies had some successes in the Battle of Kraśnik (Aug. 23rd-25th, 1914) and the Battle of Komarów (August 26th-September 2nd). It appears that he wounded men Yitzhak sees being brought to Mlynov were probably from either or both of these battles. Russia would eventually turn the tide and defeat the Austro-Hungarian armies pushing them out of Galicia and capturing Lemberg (now Lviv). The Russian army held Eastern Galicia for approximately nine months until their defeat at Gorlice and Tarnów. [HS] ↩

[74d] The implication of the story seems to be that the Jews are colluding with Austria by sending gold their way. ↩

September 1914

[September 2, 1914] [95] Wednesday, 11th of Elul, 5674, Mlynov

Yesterday morning, when I got up from sleeping, I heard a noise in the house, they were running this way and that, and a cry of sorrow could be heard. The reason for the noise was: from the battlefield that was just across our border,*) they brought close to two hundred wounded here and put them in the local doctor’s home, in the home of the pharmacist, in the home of the nobleman [the Graf] and some other private homes. Almost all the people of the town ran to the places where they parked the wounded and brought them a variety of food and drink to restore their broken souls.

* [Yitzhak’s footnote:]^[74e] Last week, there was a large clash between the Austrian army and the Russian army and the wounded expanded considerably. ^[74f]

I also hurried there. I went to the doctor’s house, entered quickly inside and in seeing the wounded lying stretched out on the straw, which was on the floor, and in seeing their faces, the epitome of grief reflected on them, and in hearing their moans which disturbed every heart – all of this made an exceedingly depressing impact on me. And as strong as my protest has been against the battles and their effects up to now – then yesterday after I saw the wounded, the strength [of that protest] intensified, [96] a great deal more. A moan of protest bubbles inside my heart and threatened at any moment to burst out, a moan of protest against the wars, against the terrible shedding of blood, against the sword of death that has no inhibition, and which “lofty” “culture” still has not tried to stop.

The impression by the sight of the wounded was very depressing, but at noon the feeling eased (also yesterday) when they removed the wounded from here.

The impact was difficult and depressing but today the sting softened a little, but I know that the impression will change every day that they bring new wounded, and perhaps the impact will weaken a bit through routine – – –

Today, information appearing in the newspapers disheartened me, namely, that Turkey will soon declare war on Russia.^[75] How extensive the upheaval will be [97] when that happens. How much the Land of Israel will suffer from this and how much the new settlement [Yishuv] will suffer and its builders, and who knows to what level this tragedy will extend? – – –

The situation will be exceedingly difficult and awful then in the Land of Israel; many important creations will be ruined, many efforts that were going to be achieved will be destroyed, and the cessation of efforts will be awfully bitter, in other words: the end to rebuilding the ruins of our Land.

How many lofty dreams will be shorn then, how many wonderful hopes will wither, and among all of the dreamers and hopeful ones that are damaged from this – I include myself,^[75a] I Yitzhak Lamdan,^[75b] who dreams and hopes of going up (making aliyah) to the Land of Israel to do the work of revival on the land of the ancestors, to live a fulfilling Jewish life in a total Hebrew environment, I, who dreams of my lofty idea. Yikes, will it indeed not come to pass?... And therefore, because of what was said here – the news that Turkey will soon declare War on Russia is exceedingly difficult for me.

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Notes

[74e] [Translator's comment:] Yitzhak inserted this footnote into the prior sentence, between the words “to restore” and “their broken souls.” To make the translation more readable, this footnote was moved after the end of the sentence. [HS] ↩

[74f] [Translator's comment:] As discussed in note 74c above related to Yitzhak's diary entry on August 31, this was part of the Battle of Galicia and may have been from the Battle of Kraśnik (Aug. 23rd-25th, 1914) and the Battle of Komarów (August 26th-September 2nd). [HS] ↩

[75] According to Barbara Tuchman, Turkey signed an agreement with German already on the 3rd of August 1914 (a month before this entry) but chose to wait and not to become involved in the fighting and not declare war on Russia until the beginning of November. See Tuchman, The Guns of August. Presidio Press, pp. 151-172, note 45. ↩

[75a] [Translator's comment:] Reading the Hebrew ʾmnh (as dervived from mānâ) meaning “I am numbered” [i.e., included]. [HS] ↩

[75b] [Translator's comment:] This is the first time in his diary Yitzhak refers to himself as “Yitzhak Lamdan.” It is not known how long he has thought of himself with the Hebrew surname “Lamdan” as opposed to his birth surname Lubes. [HS] ↩

[September 4, 1914 ], [98] Friday 13th of Elul, 5674, Mlynov

What is the situation now? What is happening in the war zone? Russia is continuing to conquer position after position in Austria. In her fighting with Germany recently, she suffered a significant defeat. According to the leader of the military, they lost two military corps.^[76] – – Also in her fighting with other governments (France, Belgium, Italy^[77] and more), Germany is winning. The situation is getting more complicated. Governments that were neutral thus far are on the verge of bursting in and participating in this terrible war.

At any time, Turkey plans to declare war and after her Bulgaria, Romania, Greece and other small governments; this will act like oil on a bonfire that is already burning.

Russia is continuing to conquer place after place in Austria, and in every place she [Russia] arrived, her soldiers desolated the Jews and their possessions, stole, robbed, beat, maimed, killed, ruined without [99] mercy and [all this focused] only on the wretched Jew – –

Horrible things are recounted about the devastation that rules now in the places which Russia conquered. In addition to the possessions of the Jews which were scorned, and destroyed not just by the military men, but also by the considerable [number] of farmers who brought provisions for the army, – the Jewish soul is also surrounded on all sides,: they kill, beat our brethren without mercy, desecrate our holy things, scattering Torah scrolls in mud, or tearing and burning [them], houses of worship ruined and burned and with them all the invaluable books in all the terrible destruction and ruin.

Yes, in every place the Jew is the first who is ready for death, destruction and loss; in every place he is the first upon whom flows the wrath of foreigners. Wretched are we who are scattered across the surface of the entire earth. And we are the first to [sustain] all wounds and trouble. Wretched are we who are despised by every tyrant and despot, for we are abandoned property for all rude feet to trample.

[100] Even here [in Mlynov] the air is saturated by hateful poison towards us the Jews. The blood of every boorish person boils without stopping, his wrath burns in him and he is ready at every moment to do us ill.

How many collections of gold were already produced by the Jews of Russia for the War, how many hospitals were built by Jewish communities around Russia for wounded military men regardless of religion or nationality, ^[77a] and how much money are Jews continuing to donate, and how many Jews are serving in the Russian army, and how many volunteered freely? – And do you mean to say this is our payment? – Hate, scorn, the wicked fist which is ready to descend at any moment on the crown of our heads – this is what we earned for all our good deeds.

Bitter ridicule attacks us at the time when our haters place veils on their faces, and pretend they are friends … our blood we spill, our storerooms we squander, and our bitter fate here – remains strong. And if a certified ^[77b] Jewish lawyer* is called to the army from the reserves, and before [101] he goes to War he wants to receive a farewell greeting from his ancestors who live in Kursk, which is beyond the Pale of Settlement –they forbid him to do so. In as much as he is a Jew and worse than a dog, which has a great deal more freedom than him, you [they are saying to the lawyer] are a Jew and what [gives you the right] to walk on the land which we prohibit you to live on. This Jew goes to spill his blood for the land [of Russia] and no one pays attention to this, and he is like a dog and when he wishes to visit his parents, perhaps for the last time, they declare to him that a Jew is not like all people.

Heavens above!! How long?! Until when!?

All of us Jews know all of this, all of us know our fate here**). How is it possible that there are still Jews who volunteer to go to War on behalf of this land; furthermore, that there are those who go willingly to spill their blood on behalf of our awful adversaries, how is this? Look at what exile (galut) did to us Jews.

[102] Exile (galut)! Exile (galut)! Look at what is in the capacity of exile to do! – – –

We are situated here to scorn, for contempt and for killing, for striking and abuse and nevertheless there are still “slaves,” enslaved souls who go to spill their blood, for no useful purpose.

My spirit storms inside me, my blood boils, a terrible protest foments inside me against our exile (galut) and those awful hatemongers. My spirit is not calm even for a second. I can’t find rest in seeing the situation of my people in exile, and I feel a personal duty to get up and do something for its benefit, and I want to express my feelings on paper, I want to find correct expression for my agitation, and an echo for all that bubbles incessantly in me. I am very, very afraid for the Land of Israel, the singular hope of my people, I am^[78a] afraid that building will stop for some time due to Turkey planning to declare war, I am so very afraid about a stoppage like this which would be very awful for our people. [103]

* [Yitzhak’s footnote:] Unfortunately I forgot his name, since he is famous it seems to me.

** [Yitzhak’s second footnote:] I write “here,” and indeed exile (galut) in every land is more or less bitter, and whenever we don’t focus on improving our position in our Land, then we are not steadfast with faith.

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Notes

[76] [The Hebrew word “qwrpws”] “corpus” from Latin meaning “body.” Here meaning a body of soldiers including several divisions with tens of thousands of soldiers. ↩

[77] Italy is mentioned by Lamdan as a natural party to the alliance between Germany and Austria (the “Central Powers”) via the Triple Alliance from the latter part of the 19th century. In actual fact, Italy’s desire to annex Austrian land to her own territory, led her at first to neutrality, and afterwards to a secret understanding with France to officially join the Allied Powers during the War against the Central Powers. [Translator’s comment:] It is surprising that Yitzhak is already listing Italy as one of the powers Germany is doing well against. At this stage, Italy was still part of the Triple Alliance with Austria and Germany and was neutral in the War. Perhaps, there were rumors that Italy had switched sides already. But that wouldn’t happen until May 1915. ↩

[77a] [Translator’s comment:] Yitzhak is saying that the Jewish communities that built hospitals or made homes available for the wounded did so without discriminating against those of other languages or nationalities, yet the boorish folks of Russia discriminate against the Jews. See his entry September 2nd where he mentions all the homes in Mlynov took in wounded. [HS] ↩

[77b] [Translator’s comment:] The Hebrew mwšbʿ can mean “sworn” or “eccentric. I’m guessing Yitzhak meant he was “sworn in” as a lawyer. [HS] ↩

[78] Kursk, a city and district in west-central Russia, outside the Pale of Settlement. ↩

[78a] [Translator’s comment:]It appears from the Hebrew that Yitzhak is saying that he is “not” afraid that building the Land of Israel will cease, but the context demands the translation that he is afraid. [HS] ↩

[September 6, 1914] Sunday, 15th of Elul, 5674, Mlyn[ov]

Truly, I thought about writing in the “daily” [diary] today but not now, before noon, because in general it is not my way to write in the morning hours but rather in the afternoon towards evening and at night. But now I can’t restrain myself from writing down the thoughts that are now occurring in my mind, and without pouring out a bit of my strong heartfelt feelings at these moments.

Yikes! How hard to be in this situation that now rules the world, how hard to be located near it! But is there any escape from it? Reports of what is taking place in the combat zone and nearby are awful, just terrible, and the hairs of the head stand on end from their horror.^[78b]

Things are awful! The cruelty and bloodshed that are happening now is dreadful. And your heart reacts in painful horror from the moment you hear the stories about all this: slain, dead soldiers pulled the length of a versa^[79] on the battlefield; the dead are buried together [104] with the fatally wounded who are still living. And just today they told of one soldier who passed here on his return from the combat zone and he couldn’t stop crying. They asked him what he was crying about, and he replied that it was not possible to bear the extent of his pain and the entire time his eyes were wet with tears, because after the skirmish, they assigned him to bury the fallen. Among the slain was a Jew who was fatally wounded and was not included among the wounded brought to the hospitals, and when he approached him, the wounded man began to gently stroke [his hand] and signal that he should have mercy on him and not bury him alive. He quickly hurried to one of the officers and told him about the situation. The latter also approached the wounded man, who proceeded to gently stroke [his hand] and request that he should not bury him. But the officer said, “No, taking you from here is impossible, and if you are not buried the dogs will tear you apart." And he commanded the soldier to bury him, and he [the soldier] was forced to fulfill the order, and how odious it was to him. The moment he laid him [105] in the pit, he didn’t stop shaking his head and begging with signals to leave^[79a] him [without burying him]. And it was impossible for the soldier telling the story to be quieted and he didn’t stop crying. He said that he was not able to bear the magnitude of his pain from this. This story totally depressed my spirit, and it is impossible for me to calm myself. Are there not thousands of incidents like these occurring now in the combat zone, and how great the pain is from this! How difficult and awful the tragedy of those dying, all the more those who remain alive in that tragic moment, of the growing number of widows now, of the orphans and of the bereaved fathers.

Is there healing for these thousands of broken hearts and is there a limit to their terrible sadness and the threat?!

Oh Heavens! These many portions^[79b] of blood shed that are mostly in vain, why are they? And this general, terrible tragedy that comes now to the world, what is its benefit? What profit is there in these additional wretched lives that extend into the thousands? And since these battles whose consequences are only the following: [106] terrible shedding of blood; the death of thousands of people who are innocent of any crime, an increase of misery while living, a diminution of a nation and its inhabitants, and more and more, then why don’t you free^[79c] [us] from it and cancel it from the world?! Is it true that this is how it needs to be? No! It is impossible, this law [that there needs to be war] needs to change. This spilling of bloods needs to be eliminated from the world. The alternative is impossible!

In the meantime, I’m going to end my writing, the thoughts I’m having now about all that I am writing here – a bit of which was written here, and the rest of things that I have to write about the Jews and the War, about my personal situation, etc., etc., – I will postpone to the afternoon hours, to dusk, or perhaps nighttime.

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Notes

[78b] [Translator’s comment:] The somewhat unusual Hebrew נוראותן is a plural form of the Hebrew נורא, with a feminine possessive ending. The term is used in the plural in the Hebrew Bible to mean “marvelous, wondrous” and sometimes referring to deeds God has done. See for example Deuteronomy 10:21, Psalms 45:5, and 139:14, 2 Samuel 7:23. [HS] ↩

[79] Verst (Russian: верста) a measurement of distance that was customary in Russia, comparable to 1.0668 kilometer [.6629 miles] ↩

[79a] [Translator’s comment:] Possibly a linguistic reference (ירף) here on Yitzhak’s part to Exodus 4.26 when God leaves Moses alone (וַיִּ֖רֶף) after threatening to kill him. [HS] ↩

[79b] [Translator’s comment:] The typical meaning of the feminine plural noun נחלות is legacy, estate, inheritance but sometimes in the biblical text seems to carry the meaning of “portions.” The masculine form of נחל can mean river or torrent. From context it appears that Yitzhak means something like the portion or torrent of blood that is spilled, even though grammatically he is using the feminine plural. [HS] ↩

[79c] [Translator’s comment:] The term תַּעֲבֹֽרְנָה׃ normally means to pass, advance or traverse. Biblical Hebrew also has an instance where it means relieve or free a person from something as in Psalm 81:7. Whatever Yitzhak’s exact meaning here, his text is accusatory of God. Why don’t you end war? [HS] ↩

Translated by Howard I. Schwartz
Updated: June 2025
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