Chapter 16

The Medical School in Yaroslavl was located at the huge square, next to a park.  The trip was as difficult as our prior travel. The only difference was that we knew what to expect, and we had more experience in dealing with the usual complications. The arrival at the dormitory, and meeting our roommates was good. Each of the girls had stories to tell. There were two girls from Leningrad.  At that time Leningrad was under siege. There was no food supply.  Many died of starvation and cold. It was so bad that cannibalism became a way to survive. The two girls from Leningrad were helped to escape the blockade. They left their families behind.  Both kept to themselves and did not socialize. There was, however another girl from Leningrad and she was full of life. Her name was Lusia.

We had two girls named Lusia. Blonde Lusia, supported by her lover, a much older officer. He helped her escape from Leningrad. Leningrad at that time was under German siege.  Blonde Lusia was charming. She offered her help to any of us when needed. Cark Lusia had no family. She was a refugee from Belarus. She was a social butterfly.  She was very attractive.  She was also a very good student. Her boyfriend was an army cadet. Most of the students were refugees from the part of the country occupied by Germany. And also most were without families The Medical School was located in a three story building in the center of the city. The lecture rooms and laboratories were on the lower floors. The cafeteria was in the basement. The dormitory was on the third floor. In our room, we had 21 girls, on 21 beds. There was a small table and a chair for each two beds. In one corner there was a rope to hang our dresses or coats or both. The trunks were to be put under the bed. The bed had a mattress of straw, and a straw pillow It was always cold and damp The room was very cold. The heat was provided by one tile stove in a corner. There was not enough wood provided for heating the dormitory.  The only heat was our body heat. The lice epidemic was common in the Soviet Union. The accepted method of controlling it was search and kill. When I see on TV the monkeys and their life pattern, I see the same techniques humans used. There were special delousing stations at the communal bath. The method applied was that you leave your clothes before starting the bath and thereafter pick them up. Ella found a plum louse on her bra after it was treated in the station. There were body lice, hair lice,  pubic lice and clothes lice. I became a connoisseur in lice extermination. The girls in the dormitory were friendly. Almost all of us were refugees from the territories occupied by Germans. Almost all of us did not know about the whereabouts of our families. There were two girls from Leningrad, now St. Petersburg. Both of them survived part of the blockade and were rescued by their lovers, who were in the military. One of them named Lusia was pretty blonde, smart, with a sense of humor .Her protector was able to visit and to bring a supply of products that could be obtained only through the food magazines limited to officers. She helped me to sell clothes that I brought from Izma and to buy bread. The exchange was done in a small square crowded with sellers who were also buyers.

One day, on the bazaar, I met the young boy that who with us in the collective farm. His father found him through the Red Cross.

The dormitory had also a room for male students The school was 95% female because men were in the army. Our male students were crippled veterans. There was a long corridor and a communal toilet .The stalls had no doors, and we had 4  sinks. There was no shower. Privacy was a word not known. Everything was done in the open. It was filthy. One had to wear rubber boots to navigate to the stalls or to use the sinks. We managed to organize a pair of boots. Every one when in need used the same pair of boots .

In the winter the urine and excrements on the floor were frozen because the heating stove was to provide heat to the rooms only. The classrooms and laboratories were not heated adequately, even when the outdoor temperature was minus 30 degree of Celsius. I had a very bad case of frostbite.  My hands and fingers were swollen and painful.  I hardly could hold a pen. All of this hell did not discourage Ella and me and about 60 other students from studying and studying hard. In the basement there was a cafeteria, where we could get hot meals twice a day, and where also we were to receive our daily allowance of bread. I had my portion wisely divided to last until night, although it was very small. Ella had no will power and had it finished before night. The winter vacation was not for a rest. The students were expected to “volunteer” for the work to supply fire wood for the university. It was hard labor. First the logs had to be pulled by ropes from the Volga River, then the logs were seesawed into parts that could be chopped. It is where I learned to use the manual seesaw and to chop the wood. My children do not believe that I know the work. And any way, I do not know how to use the modern equipment. Our professors were from the University of Minsk and the medical school was called the old name the Belarussian University Med. School. Across the street was the military academy. The cadets were guests at the dance parties. There was also a  Marine. Academy. The Russian marines were known to be good gymnasts and good performers. They visited us with a show and the show was always followed by a dance. Ella usually stayed for the dance. I would return to our room in the dormitory .The reason was simple and it may appear strange. I, desperately needed privacy. I needed to be alone. It is difficult to be constantly with 20 girls, day and night. There was no privacy, even in the toilet. Even the stalls were open. You may ask me, and what about a shower? The showers were not known. And what about hygiene? It was not known either. Once a month we visited  a communal bathhouse many blocks away. It was a group of girls who ventured late at night to the Bathhouse. The city was not lighted because of fear of an air attack. The streets were never cleaned, because street sweeping or snow removal was not known, or, maybe, it was known, but it was not practiced. When we arrived at the Bathhouse and purchased an entry ticket, each of us would receive a pail, a piece of dark soap with a smell of disinfectant and a piece of a thin a well-used towel. The next step was to wait for the entry to the bathroom. There was always a waiting line. People in the Soviet Union were used to lines and  waiting. There was always some pushing and showing. The strongest was the winner. One of  the girls, a short girl with black braids, was the aggressive one. She was from Gomel and a refugee, left all alone. We shared with her the meager supply of food we managed to bring from our home in Izma. Her bed was next to mine. Among the students only a few had family. They were mostly the children of the faculty members. The evacuation of the Medical School faculty was organized, while the dormitories and the students were left to run from the burning city of Minsk without any help. There were also students transferred from different medical schools that were lost to the German occupying force.

The system of universities in the Soviet Union differed greatly from the universities in the free world. All students received a stipend, although small, but enough to survive. Tuition was free, as well as the meager meals in the cafeteria. Food stores or restaurants did not exist. Every factory, all schools and all offices had their cafeterias and stores, where one could exchange food or clothes stamps for the real products. The best supplied stores and cafeterias were for the employees of industries that were producing the equipment needed in the military or in the collective farms.

It was the reason that we had better food supply in the Gulag magazines for the free employees of the system.  The prisoners, however, did not have enough food. Whatever was the allocation, a large part of it was stolen during transportation and while in the magazines waiting for distribution, and finally from the kitchen where the food was being prepared. There was an epidemic of conditions caused by the food deprivation. The most terrifying was pellagra. In the final stages, the brain was affected, leading to dementia.

It felt good to meet our professors from Minsk. It was good to study. It felt also good to take examinations. The extremely difficult living conditions were somehow camouflaged by the pleasure of being a student again, and working towards the goal of becoming a physician. In spite of the difficult living conditions, the cold climate, the war, nearby the life was going on. We were young. There were dances and shows organized by our school in cooperation with the military schools in Yaroslavl. The cadets were very talented gymnasts and dancers. Most of the young men became good friends with the girls in our dormitory. Some were dating. No male was allowed in the female rooms. Also the entrance to the building was out of limits to the non-students except for specially scheduled parties. Somehow the male guests appeared in the room at any time. Sometimes spending the night in their sweetheart’s bed .It was normal behavior for the rest of us. The problem was to get this young man safely out of  the dormitory. The few male students were involved in helping the visitors in and out .The student’s interrelationship was very good. We were friends. I do not remember anyone not bein  helpful.

It was difficult to have privacy in the very tight quarters. The war and the displacement affected us all. The most affected, however were girls, refugees from Leningrad in siege .The conditions in the city in siege were cruel beyond comprehension. Starvation was so bad that there were cases of cannibalism. The girls from Leningrad never talked about their families.

 Life went on.  I missed Sam. The first vacation was coming. All the students were assigned to work in the forests cutting down trees, and preparing wood for heating the school building. Ella and I decided to skip it and to travel to Izma. The main reason was to bring back a supply of food, as much as we could carry.

The trip was 4 or 5 days and nights one way, by train, with changing trains in Vologda, and in Kotlas. The railroad station provided only a roof. While waiting for the arrival of a train, we sat on the filthy floor, catching a nap. The long time needed for travel limited our stay in GULAG to 3 or 4 days.

At that time father was staying in Kozva. It was a settlement larger than Izma. It was the center for the second division of the GULAG. Father’s apartment was more comfortable. Sam came over to be with us. It was the only vacation we were in Kozva.  A few months later father was transferred back to Izma. Sofia knew how to pull strings and was able to get father back. Her husband accepted father and since that time it was “ menage a trois”.

I have to write about a young man from Lodz, whom we met in Kozwa. His name was Lolek. He was a bilateral below the knee amputee. Lolek Chaikin was an engineer. While a prisoner in GULAG he received a letter from his fiancee that she got married. In an attempt to commit suicide, he jumped under the incoming train.  He lost both legs below the knee. He was moving around walking on the knees. I met him many years later,  in Israel. He used artificial legs. He was married, with children. He was the director of the labor organization, He was well known and well respected.

When the time for departure came, we packed our knapsacks with flour, bottled oil. Sam went back to Izma and Ella and I boarded the train to Yaroslavl.  Travel by train in the Soviet Union in the years when we had to travel was not only long and without the most primitive comforts, but it was also dangerous. We had to change trains in Molotov now Perm. It was at night. The weather was very cold, the snow was deep, and the night was beautiful with shining stars and full moon. We were very far north and the night lasted at least 20 hours. We were preparing ourselves to rest on the floor of the railroad station when an order was called for everyone to leave the building, as no train was expected for several hours. We left the station and we ventured to find a house that will accept us to sleep over. After walking a distance we saw few small log houses. We knocked and we asked to be let in to rest, of course for pay. They let us in to a dark room and directed us to an empty space on the floor. We were exhausted. We settled on the floor, next to each other. We fell asleep promptly. When we woke up, we found ourselves, to be among men in uniforms, also resting on the floor. They were friendly and nice. We paid the host and returned to the railroad station. There was a new difficulty to conquer. In order to get the permit to board the train, we had to go through a delousing office. When we finally got the clothes back, Ella found a fat louse on her bras. She became hysterical, which did not help the situation.

Finally the train arrived and we pushed our way in. It was dangerous .It required the strength as well ability to get the help of a strong man to get on the steps of a moving train. One had to be pushed and to be pulled to get on the train and especially to do it without losing each other. This time we were successful.  There was another time, when Ella was not able to get in and I had to jump down. We had to wait for the next connection that came the following day. I think that it was the night we spent sleeping among soldiers.

Finally, a few days later we arrived at our school. It was in the evening. The girls were in the room. They told us the bad news, that both of us were suspended because we went home and did not go to work on the wood supply for the school.  Of course, we were frightened as well as upset. The next day we went to speak to the dean. His name was Leonov. His daughter was our classmate. She did not go to the work in the woods. I used it as a point for defense. I showed him my swollen, frostbitten hands and I asked him if he would send his daughter to work, if she has same condition. Ella complained of  her kidney problem.  We  were readmitted and able to continue our education.

We studied long hours. Each of us had  a different method, and therefore each studied with a different person. Our exams were all oral. The sessions of exams were twice in the academic year, while colloquiums were in between. All subjects were taken within the same period of time.  It is much easier in the States, where each subject is followed by an exam, before the next subject is started. We also enjoyed life beyond the school.   One day I was introduced to a young war veteran. His father was one of the faculty.   was pleasant, intelligent and a talented painter. He did a drawing of my face. It was very well done. When I took it to Izma and I showed it Sam, he tore it to pieces. I was happy that he was jealous. The same young man invited me to go boating on the Volga River. It was a good opportunity to get away from the dreary conditions in the dormitory. The boat was small. He used simple roars. He directed the boat to a secluded small island. We left the boat and sat on the grass when he began his advances.  At first I thought that it was a light flirtation, but then it became ugly, He tried to rape me. I was a strong girl, I fought him and finally I talked him out of it and we returned to the boat. It was our last date.  During the war my periods were irregular, and while in Yaroslavl they stopped, except for some irregular bleeding. Any way, shortly after I came back from Izma I missed a period and I was in panic. Abortion was illegal in the Soviet Union. At that time I confessed to Ella about my relationship with Sam. There was a girl in our room who was sexually active and I told her about my fear of being pregnant Her name was Lusia. She went with me to a clinic for examination. First a midwife examined me and I was told that I am pregnant. About 20 minutes later came in a physician and she told me that I am not pregnant.  Pregnancy laboratory tests were unknown. I was not pregnant and very much relieved of my fear. I never told Sam. Since everything was under control, there was no urgency to tell him about this.

The war was coming closer to Moscow, Leningrad (St Petersburg) was under blockade. We were a distance from the front, but not far enough for air raids One night there was an alarm. The German planes attacked the city of Yaroslavl. The shelter was  in the basement. of the building. Ella was in control. I was hysterical. I was so afraid of bombs, that I was not able to control the panic. It happened once more in the spring, when we were on the shore of the river Volga studying. There was no damage to the city. There was a big factory making tractors in Yaroslavl and most likely the factory was the target. We did well on the final exams. We completed the second year of medical school. In the beginning of June we went home to Izma to spend the vacation with Father and Sam While we were in Yaroslavl, Father was transferred back to Izma. He moved to a better log house. This one had 2 rooms and a small kitchen. Father was promoted to a higher position. Sam also moved to a different apartment. He shared the room with a young man, ex- prisoner, who chose to stay in the GULAG as a free employee. It was the choice of most of the liberated prisoners. They did not trust the world outside the system that they learned to understand and knew how to survive.

At this point I  will return to the story of Olga, the prisoner and Father’s mistress .Although the affair was over, Father decided to continue to take care of Olga He used his influence, as well as the cooperation of other physicians to create a medical chart that indicated that Olga has tuberculosis and therefore should be transferred to work as a free employee, while on the treatment regime. At that time tuberculosis was treated with rest and nutrition. The air, crisp and full of smell of pine trees was healing. Olga was not able to find her daughter since the city where the orphanage was, was under the German occupation.
When we arrived in Izma, the weather was beautiful.  The days were long, the night lasted only about half an hour. Sam was definitely happy to be with me again. It was good to be close to him and to make love. I was very much in love and I am sure that he was also. Sam never told me, in words, that he loves me. But I knew, and  words were not needed. I was so secure in our relationship, that nothing could shake my confidence. When I first saw him after my arrival he was in the office with a patient. I stood in the door and he saw me. His facial expression was of a happy surprise. He had a gift for me. It was a ring with small diamond. He gave it to me right away. The ring I wear all the time.  The pharmacy and the apartment of Sofia were next to the clinic.  I went there to meet Sofia. She was always funny and she loved gossip, especially of who slept with whom. I, really, liked her. She told me right away that Sam was not faithful, and that it is no secret that he is having an affair with a girl by the name Tonya.

Tonya and her family were send to GULAG from the area that was liberated after occupation by the German army. The rumors were that they were collaborators. Tonya was attractive and she had beautiful legs. Sam had a special feeling about women’s legs. It continued all his life. Throughout our life together, I learned to pay attention to the shape of women’ legs.

I did not tell Sam that I was told about his affair with Tonya. I did not consider this to be of any importance. I was away and he was a man alone. The following day, while Sam and I were in the pharmacy, visiting with Sophia, a young attractive woman walked in and asked me to go out because she has something to tell me. I noticed that Sam was not comfortable.  I was perfectly comfortable and even curious. I guessed that the young lady was Tonya. We walked out. The pharmacy was in a building in the woods. There was a path, leading to other buildings. Tonya told me that she is having an affair with Sam, and she told me that I should step aside. I looked straight in her eyes and I smiled. I asked her what is the reason for this meeting, and also I told her that I am not interested in the details of her relationship with Sam. She appeared surprised and disappointed. When I returned, Sam asked me what it was about and I told him that it was just nothing. Many years passed, we were married, when I told him this story. I was not jealous at all, I was sure of my values, and I knew Sam enough to understand him and to trust him. When we attended dance parties, Sam would tell me that he would ask Tonya for a dance. I remember my feeling of discomfort. Was I jealous? I did not think so. I was not comfortable to see Sam and Tonya together. I was aware that when the vacation is over and as I will be far away they may get together. And I never knew if it was so. I never asked Sam. We talked about Tonya, we joked about the gossips, but never I showed anything that would indicate my disappointment. And I was not disappointed. I accepted his affair as a way to fight the loneliness. Izma was a place where a person needed if not intellectual, than physical closeness with another person. It was a strange place on our planet. The morality or what we call the moral behavior did not exist. But in spite of the fact that there were murderers among our close associates, there was no incident of criminal behavior. You may ask me, how come no one ran away? The answer is simple, GULAG was so far away and transportation was limited to a well-controlled railroad. There was no other road. The first town beyond the system was Kotlas, hundreds of miles away.

The summer in far North is short. The days are long. There is no night. The sunset is followed in a short time by a sunrise Everything is growing fast .I had a small vegetable garden where I grew potatoes and carrots .There were lots of blueberries and wild mushrooms The river was flowing slowly. The waters were clear. The bottom was sandy. Sam did not swim and he was afraid of deep water. We were able to go to the river. It felt so good to be close to Sam in the water.  It is a warm feeling. It is to be in love.

On the shore, resting all nude, were two women, the wives of two officers. When their husbands came, they stood up to greet them without covering their naked bodies. I admit, I was shocked. They were the first nudists I met .
 The Soviet Army moved west. Leningrad blockade was over. Russia was liberated, also Belarus and my city in it, Lida. I wrote a letter to the Department of Health of the city with a question of whereabouts of our mother. The response came weeks later. The letter, we received was written by Dr. Misha Tennenbaum. Dr Tennenbaum is still alive and resides in Brooklyn. He was a graduate of my father’s Gymnasium and a close friend of our family. He survived the war fighting in the Bielski Partisan army. His letter described the liquidation of Lida ghetto .He informed us about the death of our mother.  We read the letter, the three of us and we were crying.  We cried together. It was very painful. Our father took it very hard. All the time, we believed that mother is alive. I am glad that father saved mother’s letters and that I was able to keep them safe all these years. I do not remember much of this summer.  Fall came and we were back to Yaroslavl to start the third year of Medical School.