Iłża (Drildz), Poland
The Memories of Ida Strickman Schenker

Chaya Chana, Bayla Rivka and Leah Gittel Sztrykman
Ilza, Poland, c. 1925

Ida Helen Strickman Schenker

When and where were you born?

Sometime in August, 1918 in a little shtetl called Drildz in Poland, outside of the big city of Radom.  The name of the shtetl in Polish is Ilza Zemia Radomske which means "in the province of Radom."  Radom is one of the biggest cities in Poland.  It has been in the history books because Napoleon tented there at one time.  It's about two and a half hours south of Warsaw in the central part of Poland. 

Who were you named after?

I was named after my paternal grandmother, Chaya. 

Was your maiden name changed in any way when you came to the United States?

It was Americanized to Strickman.  On the passport when I came here with my mother and sister it was "Scztrykman", the Polish spelling.

Who were the first family members to come to this country?

My aunt, Tante Sheindel, my father's older sister, was the first to come. Then my father came here, but from South America.  When he left Poland he first went to South America because he had brothers and sisters living there.  He was not keen on the family life there as far as Judaism was concerned.  My father was very Orthodox and his sister, Tante Sheindel,  was like him, so they both came here. 

When my father left Poland he had a full, blonde beard.  They called him "geyler" in Yiddish, which means yellow, the blonde one.  He also had the honorary title of Reb Ben Zion because he was so versed in the Bible and the Torah, and he was able to read in front of the congregation, which was a great honor.  He made my grandfather, my mother's father, very proud.

Could you talk about what life was like in the shtetl before you came to this country?

I had a large, extended family there.  I was one of 35 grandchildren of loving grandparents.  Contrary to most people's lives, we lived very well because my grandfather was a wholesale butcher and he had a seat on the eastern wall of the shul.  This was an honor given to people who gave a lot of charity and were knowledgeable.  I came from a well-thought-of family. 

The shtetl itself was small, but it happened to be the county seat.  It was beautiful.  Poland is a beautiful, verdant country.  It always has been self-sustaining for the people as far as food goes.  There are rivers, fish and farms. The houses looked just like the houses in Topol's "Fiddler on the Roof." 

Every Thursday there was a market in our square that looked exactly like the market scene in the movie.  The peasants would come and bring their wares for the Jews to buy.  They brought chickens for the Sabbath meal, fish and vegetables.  It was all according to the seasons.

What did the homes look like?

We lived in an apartment house in the square.  We had a giant window that jutted out into the street.  I would compare it to the "ladies of the evening" sitting in their windows in Holland.  All the other houses in the square were stores.  One sold piece goods and right next to it was a pork store.  There were candy stores and others of that sort.  When my father was there Mama told me we had clocks and watches in our window, but I have always loved plants and I had one hundred plants and was in terrible tears when I had to leave them.  We left the apartment with all the furniture to my aunt, my mother's sister, who was getting married at the time.  She promised me she would take care of my plants. 

Were there mostly apartment houses there?  What were they made of?

There were mostly little houses.  I guess they were wooden, but I never paid much attention to that.  The house we lived in was brick.

Were most of the people in the shtetl peasants or people like you and your family?  Was there a mixture?

The Jews lived there.  It was like a ghetto.  Some were poor.  If you were a shoemaker or a tradesman, your place of work was in your home.  There were lots of children; that's one thing there was no dearth of. 

Was there one synagogue for the whole shtetl?

There were two synagogues.  One was the Orthodox, which was the one to which we belonged.  The synagogue was the core of Jewish life.  It was the thing that held the Jews together. The other shul was Hassidic.  I used to be fascinated by the rabbi because he wore a fur hat and a gorgeous silk caftan tied with a belt just like you see when you see pictures of rabbis.  He also had payos hanging down the side.  Our rabbi didn't look like that. 

Can you give me the names of your maternal grandparents?

My grandfather's name was Shmuel Nuta Feldman and my grandmother's name was Nacha, short for Nachuma (which is Naomi), Feldman. 

Do you have any idea of around when they were born?  Were they born in the shtetl?

I don't know when they were born. I think my family was there from time immemorial, from the time Jews were allowed into Poland. 

What stories can you tell us about these grandparents?

These are the only set I knew.  My paternal grandparents died before my parents married.  That's why I'm named for my grandmother.  My maternal grandmother was a giant of a woman.  When you're a little girl everyone looks big to you, but I compared her to my mother who was all of four feet ten inches tall.  She used to tower over her children.  My grandfather was very tall with a long beard.  I loved him with a passion.  I loved my grandmother, too, but she was the one who gave me plenty of backside paddlings because I used to get into trouble.  She was the stern one.  She worked with my grandfather in their big wholesale butcher shop.  He used to buy the calves and cows, and sometimes I would go with him early in the morning to the hamlets where he bought the animals.  He would bring them to the slaughter house, and he used to supply all the butchers in the neighboring towns.  While he was gone, my grandmother would sit there with her feet spread apart and a fire pot under her.  I used to be petrified that she would catch on fire.  She was very stern, and always covered her head as Orthodox women were supposed to.  If she didn't wear a sheitl (wig), she used to wear little caps, like granny caps, and she loved lace and ribbons.  When we came to this country, the first package my mother sent her was five or six new caps.

My mother, my sister and I spent all the holidays with my grandparents. My grandfather became the protector since my mother didn't have her husband there.  I did not know you were supposed to have a father because I was surrounded by so much love from the whole family, all my aunts,  uncles and cousins and especially my grandfather.  I knew I had a father, and I knew him from the pictures that he sent.

Are there any other stories about these grandparents?

Yes, there's something I would like my children to remember.  I think they had eleven children, but I'm not sure; there was an aunt who died that I remember.  In town they used to say "There goes Naomi and the army."  At every holiday the daughters and daughters-in-law would go to one house and take the house apart until it shone.  Windows, beds, furniture, everything was cleaned.  The next day they would go to another aunt's house.  This way they had five or six women cleaning the house and making it shine.  It was always done  together.

My mother had a  saying: "When you light the candles the place has to shine."  She always said that, and she said it in Yiddish as I will say it to  you: "Vifill mihr rumt aganze voch zveri mull far Yomtov Shabbat."  It means, "You cannot shame the candles."   I still light candles in my great-grandmother's candlesticks.  They were given to my mother when my grandmother Chaya died, and they were her mother's before her. When my mother died, my father gave them to me.  I light those candlesticks every Friday night.  "Susan, you told me you would like to have them, and you promised to light them for me."  [Susan is Ida's granddaughter.]

My grandparents had a beautiful little house with a big courtyard.  They had fruits and vegetables they used to raise.  In the fall when the crops would come in they used to make sauerkraut and pickles.  We never ate tomatoes because they said they were for  the animals.  It was fun because when everything was ready, they would open up these giant barrels of pickles and sauerkraut.  All the grandchildren would line up in size place and we were each given a pickle.  That was the greatest thing for all of us.           

Do you know about when your grandparents died and where are they buried?

My grandfather died a natural death a year before my mother did, which would make it 1936.  We never told my mother because she was very sick at the time.  My grandmother was killed by Hitler.  Where she is, I do not know.  My grandfather would be buried in the town, if it's still there. 

Do you know the names of your paternal grandparents?

Yes, Chaya and Vadya.  I don't know much about them, only what my father told me.  They died one after the other during the flu epidemic in 1917 that ravaged most of Europe.  I have pictures of them.  My grandfather was very tall and handsome.  I don't know what he did for a living.  They lived outside of Warsaw in a town called Tarler.  [Tarlow is located 30 miles southeast of Ilza.]  I don't know if this town is still there.  Some of the shtetls were so small they weren't on the map.  The only reason my sister and I found our town is because it was the county seat. 

What was your mother's full name?

Her name was Baila Rivka Feldman.

Do you know when she was born?

She must have been about the same age as my father.  We were never sure of her age.  Her gravestone says that she was 42 when she died in January, 1938, but I was under the impression that she was younger.  She was between 38 and 42 at the time of her death.  She was born in Drildz.  [Baila Rivka Feldman was born in 1888.]

Can you describe her as you picture her, not just physically, but her personality?

Our house was Grand Central Station.  The nicest thing my father ever said to me was that I was just like my mother.  She took in people, she was warm.  She was four feet ten inches tall with gorgeous, long pitch-black hair.  During the day she used to wear it in two chignons. When she let it down I used to love to comb it.  The curly hair that I got was my mother's, and Susan got it too.  My mother had the most gorgeous black eyes.  I had them, too, when I was young.  My son Stanley has her eyes, as does my niece Barbara who is named for her.  They used to call my mother "ochie chorney," which means "dark eyes".  She had a fair complexion even with her black wavy hair.  She danced beautifully, and I inherited that talent from her.  There used to be soirees.  All the young people, the cousins, would  come to our house.  My mother never cooked for a few.  She had an expression, "effsher"  which means "maybe."  Instead of cooking for three or four people she cooked for many because "maybe somebody will come."  That's the way I am, too.  She was the only one of my grandparent's children who was not formally educated because she was the oldest daughter after all the sons, and, since my grandparents were in business, she became the cook.  She was the greatest cook and she taught me.  She sat me there and made me do everything.                                                                

What do you remember her cooking?

She cooked roasts.  We had a coal stove that she cooked on which also gave us heat in the winter.  It had a side where the coals were, and she used to barbecue there.  She made all kinds of things, fast as lightning.  She cut noodles like a machine, they were so perfect. 

Tell us some more stories about your mother.

This tiny little woman could do anything.  She also dressed beautifully.  Her love of clothes came to me.  She always wore high heels and had the most gorgeous hats.  Even though she was a great cook, she wasn't a great eater.  She was in some kind of business that I think wasn't legitimate because they used to whisper when I came in to the room.  She used to leave us with my grandmother.  That's why I can still feel my grandmother's hand on my backside for all the trouble I got myself into.  I don't know where my mother would go.  Sometimes she would take us.  We traveled a lot and were all over.  I think her business had something to do with candles because at that time candles were made with non-kosher stuff.  I have nothing to substantiate this feeling, but I can tell you she made a lot of money.  My father also sent American dollars every month.  Mama paid for all the bar mitzvahs and weddings.  Every party was in our house.  My grandmother and aunts used to come over and help.  It was like a Roman feast.  I never knew poverty.

I was told by my cousins in Canada how my parents met.  First you have to know that both their backgrounds were very Orthodox.  In those years, most of the marriages were arranged.  I seem to feel that my mother was my grandfather's favorite child because she used to do the cooking and everything else, and he was her protector.  She was engaged to a man called Joseph, and as was the practice then, had a written engagement contract which was supposed to be just as binding as a wedding.  In those years, the men were conscripted into the army for seven years and taken away, so my mother was waiting for Joseph to come home.  During this time my father came to visit a cousin of his in our town.  They took one look at each other and fell madly in love.  My mother went to her Orthodox father and said that she wanted to break her engagement with Joseph and marry Ben Zion.  My grandfather was beside himself and said that it wasn't the Jewish way and he wouldn't allow it.  But my mother prevailed and the engagement was broken without Joseph even being there, just his parents in attendance.  This was very unusual.  My parents married and a year later Joseph came back from service to claim his bride, and there was Baila standing there with (as I was told by my cousin) a beautiful, blonde, curly haired baby girl in her arms:  me. 

Unfortunately, my mother was always sick.  The reason she was sick, she told me, was that during the First World War the Germans came through the town, but didn't molest the people because they were bent on a war.  But the Cossacks came through on their horses and they pillaged and ruined and raped and they strung up Jews by their beards.  My grandfather took his four or five daughters and hid them in the cellar with tons of potatoes on top of them.  They laid there for weeks because he was afraid that they would be raped by the Cossacks.  My mother contracted tuberculosis and was quite ill.  My memories have always been of a sick mother.  I was never afraid of doctors because they were always attending her. 

My parents loved each other so much.  My friends always remember them holding hands and always saying the kindest things.  We were all around her bed when she died in Montefiore Hospital. The last thing that she said was to tell the nurse, "This is my Ben Zion."  Even when my father remarried, he always had my mother's picture with him.

She is buried in Montefiore Cemetery on Springfield Boulevard. in Queens.  Her official cause of death was coronary thrombosis.

Are there any aunts or uncles you would like to talk about?

My mother had a brother, Kalman, who was tall, at least six feet.  He and my grandfather became the protectors of my mother after my father left Poland, and we did so many things together.  When the cherries were in season my Uncle Kalman would hire a "droshky," which is a shay with horses just like you rent in Central Park.  He would take us to buy big bushels of cherries, and then my grandmother and all the aunts would put up the wine for Passover.  My mother's favorite flower was the lilac, and when they were in bloom my uncle used to come back with my grandfather from buying the calves and such with a wagon full of lilacs for her.  I remember my mother sticking her face into them and smelling their fragrance.  Uncle Kalman used to do the kindest things.  He was the one who repaired everything in the house.  Unfortunately, he died in Poland before the Holocaust.  We never told my mother.

There were lots of aunts on my mother's side.  Her younger sister, Surah Leah (Sarah Lee), slept with us.  During the day she stayed with my grandparents but came to sleep with us because my mother was alone with two little girls.  My mother left the whole house to her.  She's the aunt who promised to take care of my plants. 

All my mother's brothers and sisters were always there.  She was one of eleven or twelve children. 

When we were leaving for the United States, everything was shipped off.  I was not very unhappy about leaving because I was going to meet my father.  My mother hired horses and wagons for the trip to Radom.  My maternal grandmother Nacha and my grandfather Schmul, my mother's youngest brother, Uncle Leybel, and my aunt Surah Leah came with us to the station. In Radom.  We got on a train after kissing everyone good-bye.  They were all standing there.  We had our faces pressed against the window and the train was pulling out of the station to go to Warsaw.  There was this giant of a woman running after the train screaming, "My daughter! My daughter!"  All of a sudden she fainted and that was the last I saw of my grandmother.

Were there any other relatives that you remember?

I did have a great-grandmother who I remember faintly.  She was my grandfather Schmul Nuta Feldman's mother.  She was a tiny little woman, I don't know what her name was, we used to call her Bubbe.  She was so neat.  She lived all by herself and wouldn't live with any of her children even though she was over 104 years old.  She cooked for herself and wore a white apron that was always so white, so clean, and she wore little hats just like my grandmother did.  I remember when she was dying, everybody came to say good-bye and she knew us all by name, her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren.  She said not to mourn for her because she lived a long life, and we all kissed her good-bye.

What are your fondest memories of where you grew up?

At one end of the town was a mill.  In normal weather you couldn't go in without drowning.  At harvest time peasants from out-lying hamlets used to bring their crops of flour, barley and oats to be threshed and ground for the purpose of making grain and flour for the whole season.  The water was dredged in through giant grist wheels.  The same river that at times was a raging current became a very mild stream.  All the kids were given pots by their parents and the fish used to just swim into the pots.  The whole town stood there watching, especially the children.  The fish we caught were flat. Mama would clean and salt them, then roll them in some kind of paper and throw them into the coal stove.  I can still taste those fish!

Do you have any other special memories?

I remember Surah Leah's wedding when I was seven or eight.  My mother hired a Klezmer band.  A man that they call a Battler (forerunner of a rap artist) used to stand on a little four legged stool like the circus master stands on.  As each of the guests arrived he would make up lines like "Here comes ______ and she's an honored guest and she's bringing a dish to eat "Gefilte fish."  He made up rhymes.

I was happy in Europe with this extended family.  I was very outgoing.  I never played with dolls because my sister is 22 months younger than I and never left my sight.  In fact, it was a joke that in the big square I used to shout to her in Yiddish, "Come back, they're going to run over you."  Everyone used to repeat that and comment on how I used to take care of  her.  She was always under my feet. 

Did you each have your own bedroom?

We did until Mama moved into a studio apartment and rented out the rest of the house.  I slept in the same bed with my sister until the night I got married. 

What was Shabbat like in the shtetl?

Everything in Jewish life in the shtetl hinged around the shul.  On Friday night the whole family dressed in their best finery.  My grandparents lived up the road and would pick us up.  Of all the 35 grandchildren, I had the honor of carrying my grandfather's siddur (prayerbook) and my sister Lee carried my grandmother's.  Everyone had to go to shul.  There was no question of this.  We also went on Saturday.  It was an Orthodox shul, with the women sitting upstairs behind a curtain, but I was allowed to sit next to my grandfather. 

My sister Lee and I had credit cards long before it was fashionable.  There was a lady who had a candy store who opened up after Sabbath services.  We used to get candy on credit at her store after services, and my mother would pay up after Shabbos was over.

Shabbat dinner was very special.  We had chickens, roast ducks, cholent.  The baker was open and before Shabbat everyone used to run with their pots to put them in the baker's ovens.  We also had puddings and kugels.  We had dinner with my grandparents, and my mother did all the cooking.  Everybody lit the candles in her own home.   

On Saturday morning we went to shul.  We were like an army of children.  When I got bored I used to go outside and play with my cousins.  I didn't have too many friends because I had all these cousins.

Before we end, is there any last comment you would like to make?

Keep the faith.  To me it's very important.  If you had been in Poland the way that I was you would know what it means. 

The pictures that I have here are the last remaining things of my mother's family.  I would like Barbara, since she's the oldest, to have them.  I will mark down the names of all the people and who they are.  When I look at these photographs, I think of my life in Poland, my family and the events that brought me to this country.  I hope that reading this and seeing the photographs will help my children and grandchildren understand where I came from, where they came from.